As Brian Quavar was wheeled into the operating theatre at Guy’s and St Thomas’ hospital in London, he looked up at the surgeon and joked, ‘how much sleep have you had?’

Being the first patient of the day, he was about to have life-saving surgery after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. 

Although it was a shock diagnosis, it was one that Brian, now 60, had taken in his stride, despite the worrying lack of information surrounding the illness in Black men. 

‘One in four Black men, as opposed to one in eight in the general population, are more at risk,’ the 60-year-old tube driver explains. ‘Unfortunately, there hasn’t been enough research on Black bodies and prostate cancer even though it affects us more as a community,  so there is no understanding as to why.’ 

Like many men, Brian didn’t have any clear symptoms of the disease. He wasn’t in pain, or  felt any strange lumps – the only thing that gave any sort of indication was his need to pee more than usual. 

‘I had no real symptoms before my diagnosis,’ Brian, from East London, tells Metro. ‘I would say the only symptom would be getting up in the middle of the night to urinate regularly. I didn’t even think of it as a issue because I drink lots of liquid normally.’

However,  after frequently getting up for the toilet during the night, he was urged by his partner to visit his GP.

A PSA test (a blood test to help detect prostate cancer) revealed higher levels than normal and Brian was called in for further tests. Following a biopsy, MRI and PET scan, he was diagnosed with localised prostate cancer – which meant it hadn’t spread.

Brian, who grew up in Trinidad, recalls: ‘I had my partner with me when we got the news, so I had that support, and I had done some research. I knew it wasn’t likely to  have been fatal, or detrimental to my wellbeing – so I didn’t panic.’

‘I didn’t think: “Oh my god, this is the end of the world!”. I listened to diagnosis and I was told about the treatment options.’

Brian opted to have his prostate removed, rather than undergo radiation. However the operation, known as a radical robotic prostatectomy, came with risks, such as incontinence and erectile dysfunction. Both of these were dependent on the success of the surgery and how much ‘nerve spare’ (where doctors avoid cutting nerves near your prostate) surgeons could save.

Thankfully, the operation was a success, leaving Brian with 75% nerve spare. He was then sent home with a care plan, medical erection pump, and a catheter – which was removed after two weeks. 

On the whole, he says, his recovery went well. However, one thing that Brian feels has helped him enormously over the past two years has been a prostate cancer support group specifically for Black men, called Brother to Brother, Man to Man.

The group was set up by nurses at Guy’s and St Thomas’ hospital with the aim of being a safe space for Black men to talk about prostate cancer and, ultimately, help squash stigmas in the community.

‘Staff found that not many Black men attended the regular prostate cancer group and felt that Black men would be more responsive to being in a group of people similar to themselves. And I agree.

‘It’s important for us as Black men to feel comfortable in a space where we can talk freely amongst ourselves, and not to be seen as in the minority.

‘We meet once a month and we’re able to share personal experiences and hear from experts in the field. It’s very supportive.’

Brian adds that groups like this are especially crucial, as prostate cancer is still stigmatised within the Black community.

‘It’s taboo for a lot of reasons. There is still a struggle in terms of getting Black men to ask for PSA tests,’ he says. ‘A lot of them still think the only test is the rectal examination – which isn’t the case – and for some men this is taboo. They don’t want anybody putting a finger up their bum.

‘The other issue is the fact that prostate cancer has to do with your sexual function – however, until it’s in the advanced stages, it doesn’t really affect you in that way. So some people think “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”, and they prefer to not know about any kind of treatment that would affect their sexual function.

‘However, as a Black man, it’s also important to me that more Black people speak out to remove the stigma around being tested or being treated for prostate cancer, as it still remains a taboo for many, across Black communities.’

What’s more, with the statistics highlighting Black men are more at risk of prostate cancer, Brian feels passionately about firstly encouraging Black men to get a PSA test and secondly, urging GPs not to turn them away when they request one.

He also stresses this is particularly important as often prostate cancer can be practically symptom-less – like it was for him.

Meanwhile, there are other hurdles in the way, which could be more easily remedied, such changing how coverage of prostate cancer tends to focus on white men.

‘When people share their stories, it’s usually white men,’ Brian points out. ‘However, even if they’re speaking about white men, it should be reiterated, somewhere in the narrative, that Black men are more at risk of prostate cancer.

‘This narrative is still if you’re a man over the age of 50, get a PSA test. But it should be stressed this is for the general population. However, if you’re a Black man, and you’re over the age of 45, you should be getting a test – that’s the guidelines from Prostate Cancer UK.

‘That distinction should always be reiterated wherever possible when cancer is spoken about.’

Since Brian’s surgery in 2021, his PSA levels are undetectable and he attends regular check ups. But following his experience, he’s more passionate than ever about getting people talking and squashing stigmas.

I would like to reiterate the message to Black men, that there is no shame in having any kind of illness.

‘It’s a taboo for a lot of people in the Black community where you don’t talk about your illness whether it’s prostate cancer, or mental illness or any other kind of cancer, or any other sort of this medical diagnosis – it’s not openly spoken about. So there needs to be more openness within the community.’

Brian is also involved in Macmillan’s recent Find The Words campaign, which encourages men to open up about their experience of cancer and reach out for support.

If you’ve received a diagnosis or are going through treatment, you can get support via Macmillan on 0808 808 00 00.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Worth the hype? Experts aren’t so sure about the allure of cannabidiol (CBD) anymore.

CBD is an active ingredient in cannabis taken from the hemp plant – except, it’s not addictive and won’t give users a high.

Instead, it’s said to be anti-inflammatory and advocates claim it’s an aid for poor mental health, helping sleep and decreasing anxiety. So, off it shot into the wellness boom.

In the UK, the CBD market has grown massively, with the ingredient available to buy in everything from supplements to teas to body creams.

The industry was projected to be worth £1billion by 2025 – whether that remains the same is yet to be seen in light of new health advice.

The UK’s Food Standards Agency has slashed the recommended ‘safe’ daily dose of CBD from 70mg to just 10mg.

Now, it seems experts fear our trend-led shopping habits may have come at the cost of our health – the very thing CBD was said to support. So what’s going on?

Why have the regulations changed?

UK food regulators have dramatically cut down the recommended safe daily dose.

Previously set at 70mg per day as of 2020, it’s now just 10mg.

The Food Standards Agency (FSA) and its Scottish equivalent have updated their guidance for adults, and this new limit is akin to four or five drops of 5% CBD oil per day.

The reason for the change comes as a risk of potential liver damage and thyroid issues have come to light, after two independent committees reviewed the ingredient.

FSA chief scientific advisor Prof Robin May, said: ‘The more CBD you consume over your lifetime, the more likely you are to develop long-term adverse effects, like liver damage or thyroid issues.

‘The level of risk is related to how much you take, in the same way it is with some other potentially harmful products such as alcoholic drinks.’

Is it safe?

The FSA says there doesn’t seem to be any ‘acute safety risk’ from consuming more than 10mg of CBD a day, so if you stick to new guidance, it’s deemed safe.

However, those who are pregnant, breastfeeding, taking medication or are children, shouldn’t be using CBD – as was the case before this new advice.

What this news does mean, however, is that now there’s a host of products on the market with CBD content above 10mg.

No products will need to come off shelves, as this is advisory information, rather than law. If you continue using CBD products, it’s worth checking the content before buying so you know exactly how much you’d be consuming.

This new advice has put the onus on shoppers to be more wary.

Emily Miles, CEO of the FSA, said: ‘We understand that this change to our advice will have implications for products currently on the market that contain more than 10mg of CBD per serving.

‘We will be working closely with industry to minimise the risk, to ensure consumers are not exposed to potentially harmful levels of CBD.’

CBD was a largely unregulated industry for a long time, which has meant it’s always faced criticism and skepticism. Although, some people rave about CBD products anecdotally, and claim it helps them on a day to day basis.

So if you’re going to use it, stick to the FSA guidelines and speak to your GP about any concerns – there isn’t a need to stop using it completely, only to cut back.

Has the wonder ingredient had its day in the sun? Let us know what you think.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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A mother whose baby suffered with eczema so bad it caused her skin to bleed and’weep’ found a solution thanks to viewers on TikTok.

Leigha Sorrell, 24, who works in recruitment, made videos asking for help after her little girl, Delilah, now 10 months, started to scratch her sore skin constantly and suffered allergic reactions to a number of eczema creams.

In so much pain and discomfort, Delilah would claw at her skin until she bled, withLeigha having to co-sleep with her for months to prevent the baby from scratching through the night.

Taking to TikTok to document Delilah’s skin problems, Leigha racked up over 10,000 followers and 117,000 likes on her videos, finding a high street solution, Balmonds, through advice given by viewers.

‘It was really awful to see my baby in pain, not knowing what to do to solve it,’ said Leigha, who lives in Harlow, Essex, with Delilah and her partner, Chey Douglass-McCarthy, 24, a business owner.

‘As her mum, I just wished it was me instead of her, she’s such a happy baby and her temperament didn’t change but we could see it was affecting her by her scratching all the time and making herself bleed.’

Delilah was two months old when Leigha first noticed what looked like a rash on her baby’s belly. A doctor confirmed it was eczema and she was prescribed steroid cream, but the situation only worsened.

Leigha said: ‘We hoped it would be a simple solution but things got really bad. The eczema was weeping constantly and it was so sore which was horrible for her.

‘I worried about Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW) so I started trying another cream that the doctors said would be good for skin but Delilah was allergic to it.’

Following her allergic reaction, Leigha said that her baby’s skin became ’10 times worse’, with sore patches of dry and red skin spreading across her face and body.

Yet trying alternative products gave Delilah more painful allergic reactions that would ‘burn’ her skin and result cause even more severe spells of eczema.

Things escalated further in June when then six-month-old Delilah woke up with what Leigha described as ‘the worst flare-up’ she’d ever experienced.

She said: ‘As a mum, you just want to take that pain away from her, I was trying everything to find a solution but I just didn’t know what to do.

‘Nothing worked, everything we tried made her skin worse and now she was completely covered in what looked like a huge rash all over her body.’

After trying everything from topical lotions to scratch mitts to ease Delilah’s discomfort, Leigha decided to document her daughter’s journey online and make videos asking for advice.

Within a month of creating her TikTok account, she’d received thousands of tips and messages of support from others with eczema.

‘I had a lot of people recommending different things to me and everyone was saying to not use steroids, which we stopped using,’ said Leigha. ‘Someone recommended trying Balmonds and it was around the time Delilah’s skin was really bad.’

As other creams had given her little girl a painful allergic reaction, Leigha didn’t have ‘much hope’ that the remedies suggested by viewers would help, but was shocked to discover that the £7.99 Skin Salvation balm didn’t cause any issues.

Leigha said: I didn’t think it would work because nothing else had. We tried it on her skin and her eczema cleared up in two days.

‘It hasn’t been back since which is crazy considering how bad her skin was before.’

While Delilah does get some dry patches, using the product each day keeps things manageable, and Leigha says she is ‘over the moon’ with the results.

‘The difference in her skin is like night and day,’ added the mum.

‘She’s back to normal now and is doing well, which is all I can ask for.

‘People don’t realise how difficult it is – I constantly worry that if I use a certain type of washing powder or try her with a new food that it’s going to somehow cause a flare up with her skin – but I’m just so glad that she is no longer in constant pain.’

Eczema affects around one in ten people in their lifetime, but for many it can be resolved by using emollients and moisturisers that hydrate skin and help it retain moisture.

Others, however, find that certain ingredients used in traditional eczema treatments (such as petrolatum or liquid paraffin) don’t help with symptoms – or if there’s an allergy, even make them worse.

In these cases, products like those from Balmonds can offer an alternative way to heal and protect the skin. The brand’s flagship Skin Salvation ointment uses beeswax and shea butter rather than mineral oil and is dermatologist-approved for sensitive skin.

Yet effective relief from eczema isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. Some feel that GP-prescribed creams work well for them, while others swear by the likes of Childs Farm, MooGoo or Aveeno.

It’s all about what works for you, but if what you’re doing isn’t working, seeking advice from fellow eczema sufferers is a good place to start.

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A young mum discovered that her baby had sepsis thanks to a Facebook group for first-time parents.

Jasmine Stevens, 21, recently took to TikTok claiming if she hadn’t found the knowledge by chance, her son’s sepsis infection could have ‘ended very differently’.

A bereaved mum had posted on a Facebook group she was in, and alarm bells started ringing as Mateo, then four months old, had skin that looked mottled and a temperature.

Jasmine said: ‘We assumed the mottled skin was him trying to regulate his temperature. He gets a high temperature when poorly, so it wasn’t a major cause for concern.’

His condition soon deteriorated further and he began to suck in at his ribs – another tell-tale sign of the deadly condition – and spent the day generally sleepy in her arms.

Jasmine added: ‘That made me realise something more serious was going on and I wondered if he had sepsis.

‘I’m in a Facebook group for mums. There’s a lady in there whose baby sadly died from sepsis, and she’s always sharing the symptoms – the mottled skin, the high temperature, and the sucking in of the ribs.

‘I then tried to feed Mateo and he went floppy. When his head rolled back, I blew on his face to help him regain consciousness.

‘Thankfully, he came back and I called an ambulance.

‘At this point, his temperature was about 40 – and it wasn’t coming down.’

Jasmine, who has two children, explained that by the time they reached hospital, her son was also suffering from ‘raspy breathing’.

First, they checked for bronchitis, then sepsis. Immediately he was admitted to hospital and put on antibiotics, with a cannula fitted.

While his condition improved thanks to the treatment he received, Mateo, who was breastfed, still wasn’t feeding well.

Jasmine explained: ‘Every time I fed him, he was throwing it back up. They said to me, “If he doesn’t improve, you’re going to have to tube feed him.”

‘He did begin to eat though, and I was so glad as we were able to go home on ward leave to see my other son, Valentino who was at home with my partner.. When I got back, Mateo’s temperature was 35, and it was stuck at that.’

During Mateo’s week in hospital, the mum learned that Mateo had a bacterial virus – the leading cause of most sepsis cases, as reported by the World Health Organisation.

His mum added: ‘It was confirmed that he had sepsis on the sixth day.

‘He had to spend a week in hospital. It took about a week for his temperature to start coming down, but he was still very sleepy.

‘His hands and feet were cold until about a week after as well. But you could see progress throughout the days – he started interacting a bit more and being more awake throughout the day.’

The possible cause of sepsis was an ear infection, but they can’t be certain.

Now, almost a year on from the ordeal last November, Mateo has recovered.

She now is hoping that by sharing her son’s story, she can help other parents to recognise sepsis symptoms before it’s too late, as this may well have saved her son’s life.

Dr Chun Tang, Medical Director and GP at Pall Mall Medical in Manchester, said: ‘Sepsis is a serious medical condition that can affect individuals of all ages, including babies. It occurs when the body’s response to infection causes widespread inflammation and can lead to organ dysfunction or failure.

‘Detecting sepsis in babies can be challenging because their symptoms may be subtle, and they cannot communicate their discomfort.’

‘It’s important to note that these signs and symptoms can be nonspecific and may overlap with other common infant illnesses,’ Dr Chun added.

‘If you spot any of the warning signs of sepsis in your baby, it’s crucial to take immediate action to seek medical help. Sepsis is a medical emergency, and early intervention is critical for a better outcome.’

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Finding something small you can do regularly to lift your mood is key to having good mental health.

Whenever she feels stressed, Dalia Hawley knows exactly what to do – get outside for some exercise and fresh air. Come rain or shine, she pulls on her trainers and heads for the door. 

Twenty minutes later, she’s running up and down the hills near her home or haring around mountains on her bike feeling all the pressure disappear. 

‘I’ve never got home feeling bad,’ says the 41-year-old from Wakefield. ‘It’s a huge mood boost – you’re in the wilderness, sweaty and muddy, it’s such an adrenaline rush being out in all weathers. So much so, sometimes I don’t want to come home.’

Dalia, who runs a skincare company, discovered the ‘little big thing’ that helps keep her happy earlier this year when she was going through a tough time – work was so busy and she was also learning to drive. 

‘Exercise had gone onto a back burner,’ she says. ‘My mindset was that if I went out for an hour for a run or bike ride, I’d have lost time that could’ve been spent doing something else like updating my social media. It felt like a chore.’

But one day her instincts kicked in, and she knew she had to get out of the house. 

‘I went around the gardens of a stately home, and it completely changed me,’ she says. ‘I had the best night’s sleep and felt completely better. That was key for me – I got my mojo back. I realised how important exercise was to my state of mind.’ 

Since then, Dalia has built cycling and running into her daily schedule knowing just how great it is for her mental health.

She’s one of the millions of Brits who’ve realised that doing one small thing a day for their wellbeing can help them feel a lot better. 

Because, when you’re feeling low or struggling to cope, doing something about it can seem daunting, overwhelming and far too difficult. And you often can’t imagine anything having a positive effect on how you feel, especially something small. 

However, it IS possible. And there are many things you can do to help yourself. The NHS-approved Better Health – Every Mind Matters website has a host of great ideas and free resources to help improve your mental health.

One of the best ways is to find something you enjoy doing that lifts your mood, and make it part of your daily routine. So why not try: 

Getting active

It’s not just good for you physically but mentally, too, helping you burn off nervous energy and lowering your stress levels. Find something you love, whether it’s dancing, kicking a ball around, Zumba or yoga – and do it regularly.

If you like walking or running, download NHS apps such as the Active 10 walking tracker or Couch to 5K challenge to help you build good habits. 

Talking to someone you trust

Opening up and telling someone how you feel is great for your mental health, and it stops you feeling lonely, too. Yes, it may seem difficult initially but when you do, it’s not only a load off your mind but will help your chosen loved one or friend understand what you’re going through.

It doesn’t even have to be face to face – give them a call or chat online and you’ll find out it’s good to talk. 

Making fun plans If you’re finding things tough, get something to look forward to in the diary. It will counter any boredom and lethargy you’re feeling by boosting your mood and giving you energy.

And it doesn’t have to cost – walking the dog with a friend or visiting a free local attraction can make you feel so much better.

Managing your feelings

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy, developing negative thought patterns that keep us feeling down. Recognising this and doing something about it can be great for mental health.

Go to the Every Mind Matters website for free, practical advice on how to deal with these unhelpful thoughts and work through problems in more positive ways.

Stepping into nature

Spending time in parks and gardens can lift your mood and help you feel more relaxed. Or why not bring the outdoors in by growing plants on windowsills and balconies? 

Sleeping well

Having a good night’s sleep makes a huge difference to how we feel. And if we’re tossing and turning, it’s all too easy to start focusing on our problems and concerns. So don’t struggle.

Get out of bed and do something, such as reading a book, until you feel tired again. Every Mind Matters has plenty of tips and an email programme to help you develop good bedtime habits. 

NHS Talking Therapies

If you find something you enjoy doing regularly, you should see an improvement in how you feel. However, if you don’t or if you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, the NHS Talking Therapies service is there for you. 

The psychological therapies offered by this service are practical and can help with a range of common mental health disorders including depression, phobias, panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalised anxiety, health anxiety, social anxiety, body dysmorphia and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

They can also help you cope with anxiety or depression in the context of long-term health conditions such as diabetes or cancer. 

Some of these psychological therapies can be accessed online, via text or through an interactive website. You can even refer yourself as long as you’re registered with a GP – go to nhs.uk/talk to find your local NHS Talking Therapies service.

Find your ‘little big thing’ with Every Mind Matters. Go to nhs.uk/every-mind-matters

‘I dance myself happy every morning’

Siobhan Copland, 37, lives in Brentwood, Essex, with her partner Colin and three children aged six, three and one. She’s a matchmaker and relationship coach. She says: 

‘I grew up in a musical home. My mum loved to play loud music and we’d dance together, and my dad was a songwriter and producer so music has always been an important part of my life. But I never associated it with being a form of therapy until my twenties.

‘Then I experienced some mild depression and realised that if I played sad music, I felt bad but if it was upbeat, I felt good – I’d want to dance, I’d walk a bit faster and have a spring in my step. So I started to turn to music – it was my therapy. 

‘Now, every morning, I put music on to motivate myself for the day and dance around my bedroom. If I’ve been up all night with the baby, it makes me feel more energised and willing to take on the day. I dance around the whole house and play music in every room. 

‘And because I love music so much, I do a voluntary radio show for two hours every Thursday on a little community station in my area. It’s on Instagram live, and I encourage everyone to dance with me. I think I make them laugh!’

This article is part of a paid-for partnership with HM Government.

From fingernails to faeces, our bodies have a number of ways of telling us when something might be amiss.

Semen, the fluid emitted from the male reproductive tract, is among these indicators, with changes to how it looks or smells offering insight into potential health and lifestyle issues.

Fertility experts can look into factors like sperm (the cells carried by seminal fluid) count and motility, but it’s also worth being aware of the information you can glean without a professional assessment.

Alongside sperm – which makes up around 5% of the roughly teaspoon-sized amount produced with each ejaculation – semen is made up of sugars, proteins, and even some vitamins and minerals.

It can also contain everything from blood to pathogens like HIV and Ebola, so it’s worth getting a check-up if you notice anything different to usual.

Keep in mind, there are a range of urological conditions that won’t show in your semen, and sometimes symptoms are temporary and nothing serious. Factors like smoking, diet and age can also impact what’s normal for you.

But knowing that normal is the best way to keep an eye on your health and seek a second opinion if you’re worried, so we asked Professor Geoff Hackett, urologist and medical advisor on behalf of Hims, about what certain characteristics in semen can mean.

Clear or white with a gel-like consistency

According to Dr Hackett, healthy semen is ‘a whitish, greyish’ colour, although you may notice an ‘occasional yellow tinge’.

It can also look translucent, with a gel-like consistency that appears to coagulate and thicken after ejaculation.

In terms of the amount you can expect, Dr Hackett says: ‘For a healthy male, the volume of ejaculation can range between 1.5ml and 5ml, which can decrease with age, especially in men after vasectomy and those with prostate disease.’

Yellow

Although a slight yellow tinge to semen is common, a more pronounced shade of yellow could indicate a number of things.

‘A yellow or orange discolouration is often due to the accumulation of lipofuscin from damaged cells, but can be linked to excessive alcohol, or urine infections and can become worse with dehydration,’ explains Dr Hackett.

‘Severe yellow discolouration can be seen with jaundice from liver disease where the urine is also usually yellow.’

Bladder obstruction may also give semen a yellow hue as the fluid is mixed together with trapped or extra urine when it passes through the urethra; something that’s particularly common if you ejaculate shortly after peeing.

In rare cases, yellow semen could be a symptom of a condition called leukocytospermia. Also known as pyospermia, it can be caused by inflammation, autoimmune diseases or STIs, and raises the amount of white blood cells in semen which tints it yellow.

Greenish

A green tinge to semen is often due to the same reasons as yellow discolouration.

Sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia and gonorrhoea can cause a change in semen’s appearance, with a green colour often accompanied by an unpleasant odour.

Certain vitamins, medications and even food dyes could also be behind temporary differences, so keep an eye on symptoms and speak to your GP if you have any concerns.

Pink or red

‘This colouration can be caused by colour additives in foods,’ says Dr Hackett.

‘However, the most common cause is blood (haematospermia) with fresh red streaks indicating bleeding and dark brown discoloration suggesting that bleeding occurred some time ago.

‘The most common causes are infections such as prostatitis, urethritis, which may be associated with an STI or less commonly infections of the testes. In such cases, medical assessment is required with treatment of the underlying infection.’

If you’ve recently had a prostate procedure, this could be an after-effect, while more rarely, blood in the semen can be a symptom of high blood pressure or cancer.

Speak to your doctor if you have any concerns, and be sure to note down any additional symptoms like pain, burning, itching or a rash on the genitals, as this can help healthcare professionals pin down what’s going on.

Black or dark brown

Brown or black semen may be due to dried blood from a past issue, but there are a number of other potential causes.

‘A brown to black colouration can be due to old oxidised blood, spinal cord injury, high levels of uric acid (gout), heavy metal poisoning (lead, nickel and platinum) and tropical parasitic infection,’ says Dr Hackett.

It’s important to seek medical advice whenever you’re concerned to rule out exposure to contaminants or injuries.

Thick texture

The texture of seminal fluid is impacted by a range of factors, from how often you have sex to how much water you drink.

‘Semen is thicker and more concentrated with dehydration or after periods of abstinence,’ says Dr Hackett.

A temporary change in consistency on its own is usually nothing to worry about and will resolve with necessary lifestyle alterations like cutting down on alcohol or staying better hydrated. If accompanied with other symptoms, though, then it’s time to see a doctor.

Watery and thin texture

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Dr Hackett explains: ‘Thinner and less concentrated semen is associated with more frequent ejaculation with sex or masturbation.’

If this persists or you notice additional symptoms, visit your GP for further guidance.

Fishy, rotten, or foul-smelling

‘Normal semen is slightly alkaline (PH 7.4) with a smell of chlorine or slight odour,’ says Dr Hackett.

The exact smell varies from person to person, but a fishy or rotten scent can signal something more serious.

Infections like trichomoniasis and gonorhoea may make your semen more pungent, yet since eating certain foods like asparagus and garlic can also alter the way your semen smells, it’s worth changing your diet to see if things return to normal after a few days.

STIs do typically present with further symptoms like burning when you pee and discharge, although not always.

If in doubt, get checked out.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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A mum known as ‘the topless runner’, regularly jogs half naked in a bid to raise awareness of breast cancer.

Louise Butcher, 50, had a mastectomy in 2022 and now runs topless around her village of Braunton, Devon, calling it ’empowering’.

Locals are familiar with the site of Louise exercising without a top on, and she says it feels ‘normal’.

She said: ‘It’s really empowering and I do it every day.

‘I did a local marathon on Sunday and had a massive outpouring of love.

‘It’s opening up the awareness around breast cancer and helping to normalise it a little bit.

‘It’s normal where I am now. It feels weird when I wear a top to run!’

It’s so standard for Louise and local residents, that they wonder what’s going if she has a top on.

‘I went out the other day with a top as it was a little cold and I usually take it off when I warm up, and this woman stopped me in the street and asked me why I was wearing a top,’ she said.

Louise was diagnosed with lobular breast cancer in April 2022.

The charity volunteer discovered a lump in her breast after checking herself, and the diagnosis was later confirmed by an ultrasound.

Louise chose not to have a reconstruction. She explained: ‘A lot of women who have reconstruction do so as they feel like they want to fit into society and some of them regret it and end up going flat anyway.’

The mum-of-two, who was already an avid runner, refused to let her treatment – which included radiotherapy and mastectomy – stop her from doing what she loved.

Louise said: ‘I was running once or twice a week before the diagnosis, but six months before I was diagnosed I started training for the virtual marathon and since then I haven’t stopped – I’ve done three marathons in the last 12 months.

‘Last year was so dark with the cancer, running topless didn’t feel brave, I felt like I needed to do it.’

Louise said she didn’t feel like she was being brave by baring her top half.

‘When I first did it, it wasn’t tough, it just felt a bit weird but now I don’t blink an eye, it’s who I am now,’ she said.

‘It’s just about inspiring women to have body positivity – even women who haven’t had breast cancer. We don’t have to feel shame.

‘It’s opened up the argument and the perception of what society looks at breasts as.’

Louise is now in the process of setting up a topless swim before her London Marathon next year.

‘That’s becoming a body positivity swim and that’s supposed to be about other women joining me,’ she said.

‘The London Marathon is my dream so I can’t believe I’m in that.’

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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Think yoga or a long walk are the best ways to relax? Think again. It turns out, Brits like to unwind by mashing potatoes.

Menial and mundane tasks were voted the best ways to find calm, according to a new survey.

Grating cheese, sorting the recycling and building flatpack furniture also all made the list, and more than half (56%) of the people surveyed found everyday tasks can be more relaxing than yoga or meditating.

And in a very British fashion, the top way Brits prefer to relax is by making a cup of tea or coffee, with 49% saying it helped ease stress and anxiety levels – there’s nothing quite like a good cuppa.

Watering plants and chopping herbs placed at third and second, and perhaps surprisingly, household chores that you might assume people try to avoid were actually favourites: hanging out the washing, mowing the lawn, folding the washing, vacuuming, painting walls and weeding the garden all made the top 10.

And, it seems we’re all strangers to road rage, as driving was also included.

The survey, commissioned by eBay, revealed that around half (49%) of people believe tactile tasks with an end product are among the most relaxing – explaining why crocheting (14%), cleaning the car out (12%) and cleaning the windows (9%) were also on the list.

When it comes to the reasons why we’re feeling on edge, money, work, family and health, occupied our minds the most.

On average, Brits have 10 moments of relaxation a day, with almost half (49%) wishing they had more periods of calm in their lives.

One in three (33%) claiming they had less stress-free moments now compared to three years ago, with 58% saying that phones and computers made it harder for them to relax.

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A woman who thought she had a common cold was rushed to hospital when she woke up and couldn’t move her face.

At first Caoimhe Reddy, 26, thought her cheek was just numb from ‘sleeping funny’ until she couldn’t sip her morning coffee.

When she looked in the mirror she realised the left half of her face was slumped – and NHS 111 phone operators told her she might be having a stroke.

But seven weeks of tests came back clear and doctors are still uncertain exactly what’s caused the facial paralysis.

The mystery illness has left her struggling to eat, drink and talk – and she has lost the use of the taste buds in half of her tongue.

Doctors say their best guess is she is suffering from inflamed facial nerves caused by an infection. For now, she just has to wait it out.

Caoimhe, an account manager originally from Smithfield, Ireland, said: ‘It is just so shocking – the universe has decided to freeze half my face.

‘I’m still working on eating and drinking, and talking is really laboured.

‘At first I was like, ‘okay, cool. It’ll go away after a couple of days. Then, when it got to two weeks and it still wasn’t better – it was almost like I had to keep learning how to deal with it.’

Caoimhe, who is now based in West London, went to bed on August 19 with what felt like a mild head cold. By the next morning, the left side of her face was completely frozen.

‘There was nothing really that started it,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t sick at the time – there was no indicator this was going to happen. I woke up in bed – my fiancé had bought a cup of coffee and left it beside me.

‘I went to drink it and it spilled all out of my mouth. My rational brain – I didn’t think anything of it at first, just ‘oh, that’s a bit weird’.

‘I looked in the mirror and found my face was paralysed – but there was no numbness, no tingling – it felt just the same as it did the night before.’

Caoimhe’s fiancé, 29, a financial advisor, told her she needed to call 111.

After thinking she’d be told to “just walk it off” Caoimhe was shocked an ambulance was coming in case she’d had a stroke.

‘I literally felt my soul leave my body,’ she added. ‘Maybe I’m naïve but I didn’t even realise it could be a possibility. I’m only 26, and I’m healthy.

‘While waiting for the ambulance, I sat down on my bed and had a bit of a cry. But I also thought, if I’ve had a stroke, I just need to go to the hospital and deal with it.

‘It was the most scared I’ve ever been in my life.’

Caoimhe was rushed to Charing Cross Hospital – with paramedics unable to work out whether she’d had a stroke, a traumatic brain injury (TBI) or an infection.

She added: ‘They were able to ascertain I hadn’t had a stroke through MRIs and neurological tests – but then they said they ‘weren’t really sure’ what had happened – and sent me home with steroid tablets.

‘But they kept needing me to come back in for more tests – I went back six times in seven weeks.

‘They thought it might be a palsy related to some kind of infection, but all my bloods came back clear.’

Caoimhe was eventually told by doctors her facial nerves ‘may be inflamed’ – and is on antibiotics, antivirals and steroids. But seven weeks on, the paralysis hasn’t improved.

She says she no longer feels comfortable eating and drinking in public – and talking, particularly pronouncing ‘P’ and ‘B’ words can be a struggle.

‘Everything I was doing before the paralysis just felt so un-doable at first – even going to the coffee shop and having to ask for a straw,’ she said.

‘I thought it was mortifying. Like, what if they ask what’s happened? What if they know I’m sick?’

Now, Caoimhe is trying to face her condition head-on, with as much positivity as she can.

‘I just want to be as happy and healthy as possible,’ she added. ‘I’m going running for the first time in my life, trying to improve my fitness.

‘I also started acupuncture on Wednesday (4/10), just trying to keep on top of my mental health as well as the paralysis.’

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Asking For A Friend is the series where we answer the questions you don’t want to ask.

Regularly checking your breasts for lumps and bumps is something we should all be in the habit of.

But if it’s something you’re new to, you may not always be familiar with how your breasts look, especially if you’re someone who has periods.

If you’ve ever looked down and noticed your nipple itself is unusually bumpy, we wouldn’t be surprised if you freaked out a little bit. 

It’s good to be cautious – but it’s also good to know that those little bumps you sometimes get on your nipples are completely normal.

They’re called Montgomery glands (or Montgomery tubercles) and are often found on the areola, aka the dark-coloured area surrounding your nipple on both men and women.

What are Montgomery glands?

According to Dr Elise Dallas, Women’s Health GP at The London General Practice, Montgomery glands serve a vital purpose in nipple health.

‘They secrete an oily, waxy substance that helps keep the nipple and areola lubricated and provides a protective oily barrier to guard against infection,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. 

‘This secretion can help prevent dryness, cracking, and irritation of the nipple during breastfeeding and other activities.

‘Essentially, they contribute to the overall health and comfort of the nipple.’

Some people have more Montgomery glands than others, and they’re likely to become more prominent the older you get.

As Dr Elise explains, pregnancy and breastfeeding can make your Montgomery glands more pronounced, as can hormonal changes due to your menstrual cycle, stress, hormonal contraception or menopause. 

Is it okay to squeeze the bumps on your nipple?

If you notice you have more Montgomery glands than usual, you should avoid squeezing them or tampering with them at all.

‘Generally, avoid squeezing or popping Montgomery tubercles, as they can contain a waxy substance, resembling a spot,’ says Dr Elise. 

‘Manipulating them can cause infection or nipple tissue damage. It’s advisable to leave them undisturbed.’

Glands can become blocked, inflamed or infected — the signs to look out for are swelling, itching or inflammation – if this is the case, leave them alone and speak to your GP. If it’s just an infection, it should settle in two to three weeks.

When should you worry about bumps on your nipples?

For the most part, bumps on your nipples are no cause for concern, especially if they appear regularly. 

However, Dr Jo Mennie, a doctor and women’s health expert at Dr David Jack, tells Metro.co.uk, if you notice anything out of the ordinary, make sure to contact your GP. 

‘Any discharge from the nipple, tethering of the nipple, a hard lump, or persistent itching and a rash that doesn’t go away within a week should be seen by your doctor,’ she says.

‘These could be signs of breast cancer or Paget’s disease of the nipple.’

Don’t feel reassured? Speak to your GP. You know your body best, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Joe Squire went from being a healthy 26-year-old to experiencing horror symptoms that have left him with severe skin rashes and needing the toilet up to 30 times a day.

Last year, Joe began feeling unwell and had diarrhoea, which he initially put it down to food poisoning.

But Joe, from Salisbury, was later diagnosed with colitis, a long-term condition where the colon and rectum become inflamed.

He experiences ‘flare-ups’ where his symptoms can suddenly intensify. His recent flare-up last month lead him to losing ‘more than a mug’s worth’ of blood, constantly going to the toilet, and with a skin rash he said felt like an ‘acid burn’.

‘It definitely came completely out of the blue,’ he says.

Joe realised something was wrong after he repeatedly came down with an upset stomach.

He says it lasted between two to three weeks, during which time he did not leave the house and suffered diarrhoea 10 to 15 times a day.

He said: ‘I quickly realised that, you know, this wasn’t going away with your typical Imodium tablets.

‘I was fine 10 minutes prior, and you know, felt like I could eat anything in the world.

‘And then 10 minutes later, that first time going to the toilet, that was the start of it all and then came the diagnosis.’

He was told he had colitis, a form of inflammatory bowel disease. Flare-ups can last anywhere from a few days to several months, and symptoms can include severe diarrhoea, dehydration, feeling exhausted, bleeding from the anus and rapidly losing weight without trying.

The retail store manager, who only recently started a new job, suffered his last flare-up on 19 September, when he found blood in his faeces.

Joe said: ‘When I called 111, they asked how much blood loss did I have, was it enough to fill a mug and the honest answer was yes.

‘The amount that comes out, without being too graphic, is like someone has just cut you open.’

Joe was given intravenous steroids but then the same day, in a possible reaction to the medication, his skin began burning and he developed red rashes over parts of his body and face.

He said they feel like acid burns and stopped him from opening and closing his eyes.

‘The skin is so severe, it’s on my face, it’s on my chest, it’s on my back, it’s on my neck – it’s horrendous,’ said Joe.

‘I explained this to the healthcare professionals that it feels like acid burn. It doesn’t feel like sunburn, it doesn’t feel like any normal condition, it feels almost chemical.’

The skin condition, which doctors suspect is linked to Joe’s steroid treatment, has also affected his mental health.

‘It’s definitely been a really, really hard one for me,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t even open or close my eyes because the skin around my eyelids was so sore and swollen.

‘You shouldn’t care about what other people think but it just puts so much stress on you and anxiety.’

Each time Joe has experienced a flare-up, he has lost a significant amount of weight which then takes months to put back on.

‘I normally sit around about 11st 3lb, which I’ve been told is a good Body Mass Index (BMI) and I’m healthy, I keep fit,’ said Joe. ‘At my lowest, when I was in hospital, I was down to around 10st 6lb.’

He fears he could lose his job because of his declining health and has already used up all his holiday for the next year. He is moving back to his parents’ house with his girlfriend, Chloe Pattison, 27.

‘It’s difficult for an employer because every day is in the hands of a higher power,’ he said.

‘I have basically used all of my allocated holiday pay so I basically have no holiday for the rest of the year.

‘Legally obviously I’m not entitled to statutory sick pay, although I’m lucky to have quite a supportive employer and they are looking into this.’

Joe does not wish to be a burden on his parents, who already care for his older brother who has cerebral palsy, and to help cover his treatment and living costs he has launched a GoFundMe page – but he added he ‘doesn’t want to take anything from anyone’.

‘I’d never want to take the lifeblood out of anyone else you know, even though they would love to,’ he added.

‘But I don’t know how going forward for the next two, three, four weeks, how am I going to pay for rent, how am I going to pay for bills, how am I going to pay for prescriptions.

‘I realised, when I was in hospital, at the lowest of low and having genuinely nowhere to go and having no financial support, that I do need help in some way.

‘I’m someone that is so motivated to better my situation, I know I do everything I can to better myself and give myself a better life.

‘And when your health doesn’t play ball and nothing else does either, it can be very disheartening.

‘To go from an average salary of say around a couple of thousand pounds a month to nothing is a big shock.’

Joe has launched a GoFundMe to help him cover his living costs during this difficult time.

‘I’m very, very thankful for everyone that has helped even a small amount,” he said.

‘It’s been a big relief just for people to even donate the smallest amount, just to know that I’ve got a bit of reassurance, if anything would go wrong.’

To donate, visit Joe’s GoFundMe page.

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‘What’s this then? Is this therapy, like for the head?’ said a delivery driver as he stood in the doorway of Self Space, in the heart of London’s Soho.

After all, considering the notoriously long NHS mental health wait times, with nearly a quarter of patients waiting three months to start treatment and dialling 999 instead – it does seem unusual that you can simply stroll into a shop on the high street and get a session with a therapist, with almost no wait time at all.

But this is what’s advertised by the team at SELF SPACE – a trendy private therapy clinic on the high street which offers ‘mental health maintenance’.

You won’t be waiting years, months or weeks – they claim they can almost always see you the same day, and usually within the hour. How? They have access to more than 100 therapists, if there’s not a therapist available for a face-to-face chat, they’ll connect you with someone online if you can’t wait.

It was set up by Jodie Cariss and Chance Marshall who say they’re on a mission to ‘reduce stigma around seeking and receiving mental health support by providing accessible therapy’.

Now, I was pretty curious to see what so-called ‘mental health maintenance’ at the venue entailed – so I popped down to try it out for myself.

As someone who forewent the two year wait for the therapy I needed and was fortunate enough to go private instead, I wanted to see if it really was more accessible.

Self Space is warm and stylish venue, with cosy lit rooms that look like an Anthropologie or Oliver Bonas shop front – somewhere you’d rather like to be, rather the sterile grey offices of many traditional therapists.

When I visited, Chance told us about that DPD driver and how their exchange summed up everything the new venture is trying to achieve.

‘He said “I’ve been looking for this for my son for ages, we’re on a waiting list for the NHS”,’ the founder recalled.

‘He booked his son in for the very next day and he came in with him. It was such a beautiful moment, he felt so proud he’d managed to get his son immediate access to mental health care.’

Its clinicians specialise in everything from trauma to depression and neurodivergence, but what sets Self Space apart from other private therapy clinics – let’s call it what it is – is their Mindful Monday Check-In, which falls on the first Monday of every month.

A downside is that Mindful Mondays are online, not in person, but the sessions – which are all about breathing techniques to ground yourself, as well as journaling led by a therapist to boost introspectiveness and help ease you into a low-stress month – are all totally free.

The no-need-to-book policy also piqued my curiosity. Who is this aimed at? And how does drop-in therapy it practically work?

Passers by are encouraged to pop in if they’re not feeling their best – you don’t have to know why.

Just like we may go to the gym or for a long walk to keep ourselves fit and healthy, the idea is to drop into a Self Space session with a clinician of your choice to keep yourself feeling mentally well.

The venture is aimed at people who want to keep themselves mentally fit, though the founders say they have the ability to offer therapy for people with long-term diagnosed mental health struggles too.

If you’re in crisis or are suspected by a Self Space therapist to have an diagnosed mental health condition, founder Jodie explains you will be referred to your GP, although Self Space will ‘bridge the gap’ and care for you until it’s confirmed by your GP that you have been seen.

But, the main aim of this trendy clinic is to aid self-improvement and help you maintain a happy and healthy state of mind.

You could easily squeeze a 30 minute session in between your retail therapy.

Self Space wasn’t the dreary place I feel I have to go to when I have my regular therapy. In this case, I found myself really wanting to be there – it’s pretty Instagrammable to be honest and on a more important note, I wasn’t made to feel like I didn’t know myself and the extent of my problems.

I felt like I was chatting with people who saw me as a friend over coffee, not a project they’re earning money from by attempting to fix me.

We chatted about the people or characters I relate to and why that might be, and we did a storyboard activity. I mapped a journey of a goal I’d like to achieve and while it seemed trivial at first, it really helped me focus on what I wanted.

While it was only a short taster session, I left with a clearer sense of purpose for the near future than I’d had before I went in – the session gave me clarity.

In my traditional therapy I sometimes find myself having to confront things I don’t feel ready to yet, but I didn’t have that problem at Self Space.

A typical format for a Self Space session begins with filling out your medical history and GP information, but then you’ll get the question: ‘What brings you here today?’

If you’ve got something specific you want to discuss, the session will focus purely on that, but if not, you’ll chat about anything from relationships, work and family to what your eating and how you’re feeling physically.

It’s maintaining your mental health, not scrutinising it. As Jodie says: ‘We think about therapy as a collaboration, not as someone who has all the answers – you are the expert on yourself.’

Since opening it’s doors in 2018, Self Space has welcomed 55,000 people through its doors in four sites; Manchester, Borough, Shoreditch and now, Soho.

But here’s the real catch. I would say Self Space is accessible in terms of wait times, and their concept is great, but the cost will price some out.

In fact, it costs more than my private therapist I already see. I pay £60 for an hour (although I admit this isn’t face-to-face) while an individual session at Self Space is £60 for 30 minutes and if you want a 50 minute session it’ll be £80.

These are the average prices for London, so Self Space isn’t cheaper per say, but it does offer student and NHS discounts which take the price down to £60 for 50 minutes.

If you can’t afford that there are in-person group sessions you can attend for things like addiction, relationships and grief, which are £20 to £25, and you’ll be in a group of 20.

I’d class this as a much more accessible option but, of course, not everyone is going to be comfortable with group therapy.

As a solution, Jodie claims Self Space will be introducing a Pay It Forward scheme in the future which will allow big companies like Google, Depop and Huel, that pay for bulk sessions for their employees to pay for an extra 100 sessions, for example, and donate them to the public.

This will allow a limited number of free therapy slots to become available – now that’s what I call fully accessible.

But, regardless of cost, what Self Space won’t do is provide sessions for those who are under the supervision of a primary care team.

Jodie says: ‘We don’t see people who have a primary mental health team which may mean that you’re schizophrenic or have a dissociative disorder.

‘If someone comes to Self Space and we don’t think they’re able to access therapy, and when I say access I mean engage with the therapeutic process because they aren’t doing well, we would refer them to their GP.’

In short, do I think it’s worth singing Self Space’s praises? Yes. It’s offering something different, and boy, is that needed. I couldn’t get on to my private therapist within the hour. And the Mindful Monday sessions which help ‘maintain’ your mental health by giving you a boost at the start of the month are free.

Sure, the rest costs money, but this is a business, after all.

Personally I do feel like Self Space somewhat de-stigmatises the idea of checking in on our mental health – after all, popping into their ‘store’ felt like just another stop along the way between my usually haunts of Zara and & Other Stories. 

Co-founder Chance told Metro.co.uk: ‘We’re opposite the food market and there’s something about therapy being visible and on the high street that just normalises what it means to look after our mental health.

‘People who have been interested in it – whether they be delivery drivers, people who work on the market or people who are walking around – and have started to think of therapy in a way that isn’t just for when they’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope, but are interested try it out just to see what therapy is like, without being committed to a longer process.’

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A mum has shared the harrowing story of her baby being born without an anus – with the toddler undergoing six life-saving surgeries before his first birthday.

When Vickie Thompson and her fiancé, Alex, 37, welcomed son, Charlie, into the world, she was over the moon and at first had no idea that anything was amiss.

But just a few hours later, while still in hospital and unable to wake her child in the cot beside her, the mum began to panic.

That’s when medical professionals reportedly discovered the child did not have an opening in his bum, and immediately rushed him to have his stomach pumped.

‘I was absolutely petrified… I thought he was dying,’ said Vickie.

‘The doctors said, “We don’t think he has an opening”. I was so scared.’

Having fed the newborn just a few hours prior to the shocking discovery, the 36-year-old beauty therapist from West Sussex also noticed Charlie had not yet pooed and his pee was a strange green colour.

Upon further investigation, doctors confirmed he had an imperforate anus, the narrowing or absence of the body part, a condition which affects one in 5,000 babies.

Whisking Charlie to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), the doctors removed the contents of his stomach to ensure no toxins remained.

The next day, he was transferred from Worthington Hospital to Brighton Hospital to have a stoma created, placing him under more specialist care.

A stoma is an opening in the abdomen connected to your digestive system, diverting waste away from the bowels and out of the body.

Charlie spent three days in the NICU after the major operation, two of which were in a coma.

Mum Vickie recalled: ‘I was petrified I was going to lose him. They had to put him on life support and I kept thinking he was going to die.

‘I kept thinking the worst.’

After seven days, the parents were thankfully able to take their baby home, but their ordeal continued with numerous further treatments.

Since his birth on August 12, Charlie has undergone six life-saving surgeries, with more on the horizon.

Vickie said: ‘Being a first-time mum is an experience anyway, so having the stoma as well was hard.

‘It was very, very stressful and at times felt quite lonely because people were scared to deal with the stoma, so I had to do it all.

‘Friends and family were scared to change his stoma in case they did it wrong and caused an infection. They couldn’t handle the risk.

‘It has certainly been tough going.’

At three months old, doctors attempted to create an opening in Charlie’s bottom, however, this unfortunately stopped his original stoma from working.

Rushing him into yet another emergency surgery, he underwent an ileostomy, where the bowel is brought further out of the body.

‘Charlie became very poorly and couldn’t eat for 11 days,’ said Vickie.

‘He was very vulnerable and malnourished. The liquid coming out of the ileostomy was six times the amount that was going into his body, so he was on fluid drips with vitamins.’

Following this, the baby underwent four more major surgeries – including surgeons removing a large part of his bowels, which had died.

Now, under constant review, doctors are unsure if he will ever be able to be potty-trained, expecting he will spend the rest of his life with the stoma.

Yet although it has been a hard few months for the family, Vickie is hopeful for her boy’s future.

The mum added: ‘This has caused him a lot of trauma.

‘The key thing [for me] is spreading awareness and teaching mothers how to check their babies.

‘Despite everything, he’s such a happy baby.’

Do you have a story to share?

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When Lauren Parker, 25, boarded a plane to Istanbul, Turkey, she thought she was going to get a breast lift and implants.

But before her departure from the UK in September 2023, she started to experience ‘unusual bleeding’.

Lauren’s GP assured her that she was fine to fly, saying it was just an abnormal period, but during a consultation with surgeons on the day her surgery was meant to take place, a routine blood test found she was roughly five weeks pregnant.

What’s more, is that a subsequent ultrasound showed Lauren’s pregnancy was ectopic – which is a potentially deadly condition where a fertilised egg gets stuck in the fallopian tube.

Lauren, an aesthetics practitioner and lash technician, from Southampton, Hampshire, said: ‘If I didn’t go for that surgery I might not be here today.

‘I was certain I wasn’t pregnant – I didn’t believe them at first.

‘The staff in Turkey were amazing – they saved my life.

‘On top of that, I got my new boobs too, so it was amazing all around.

‘I know there are horror stories about Turkish clinics, but I can’t recommend this one highly enough.’

Worried doctors told Lauren they needed to act fast, telling her the only thing they could do was operate.

The most common treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is surgery and removal of a fallopian tube. Although the surgery can feel devastating, the NHS reassures patients that most women fall pregnant again after having one of their tubes removed.

During a keyhole surgery that took just 45 minutes, a surgeon took out Lauren’s affected fallopian tube, likely saving her life as she had started to bleed internally.

She was then kept under anaesthetic for an additional seven hours while medics performed her breast enlargement, taking her from a size B to an E cup.

After booking the £3,600 procedure in August, Lauren was looking forward to the transformation after becoming dissatisfied with her breasts.

She thought they were ‘worse than ever’ after she lost six stone in two years, going from 16st8lbs to 10st8lbs.

But in the weeks before she was due to fly, she started experiencing intermittent bleeding, period-like pains, and felt faint and sick.

Lauren even took a pregnancy test to see if that could be what was making her feel unwell, but that came back negative.

When the bleeding wouldn’t stop, she went to her doctor who gave her tranexamic acid medication to control the bleeding and thought it was just an erratic menstrual cycle.

Lauren said: ‘I was feeling really rough and was worried with all the bleeding that I’d not be able to have the operation.

‘I was worried about my iron levels to be honest and didn’t want to bleed out if I did have it.

‘I was a bit shocked my GP didn’t try and find out a bit more or run any tests or see me in person. But I was told I was fine to go out there, so I went.’

Lauren – who was accompanied to Turkey with her accounts manager boyfriend, Bradley Jones, 31, – was shocked when tests at the cosmetic surgery clinic found out she was in fact expecting.

The couple wasn’t overtly trying to have kids, but they had ‘stopped using anything’ after feeling like they were ready to start a family if a pregnancy were to occur.

‘I requested multiple tests because I could not believe I was pregnant,’ she said.

‘Then the ultrasound scan came back with nothing and the doctors there were all really confused.

‘It wasn’t until they did another closer scan that they found the pregnancy was actually in my tube.

‘It was scary – they were all really worried about me and offered to do the operation themselves or advised I get back to the UK for it ASAP.’

Lauren had the £1,500 operation to remove the egg and fallopian tube and had her breast surgery at the same time at the clinic on September 6.

She said: ‘They saved my life by being so thorough. They were absolutely wonderful, they really cared and put me at ease.

‘It was amazing, I felt in such safe hands. I knew something wasn’t right before I left the UK, I wish I’d trusted my gut and been listened to here.

‘It was weird not knowing if I’d wake up with new boobs or not as they said they’d only do them if the keyhole had gone well.’

Even though she’s had to lose a fallopian tube, Lauren remains optimistic about the future.

‘I’m only 25, and we have lots of time to try. I have been told I’ll have to be quite careful about how I get pregnant and have lots of tests,’ she said.

‘It’s a bit scary, but I’ve got lots of information. I feel much better now, I’ve got the look that I want. I felt so frumpy before.

‘The shape is amazing, I feel so much better in myself and much more confident now.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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I spoke at my father’s funeral. I spoke at my mother’s funeral.

Those were difficult and painful speeches to make – but what got me through was that sitting in front of me was my family, including my son, Cal.

Cal would tell me after those speeches, ‘Dad, I am so proud of you for being able to do that.’

‘Mate, it was only possible because I could see you in front of me,’ would be my reply.

I never imagined the day would come where I’d be standing in front of friends and family, speaking at Cal’s service. That I’d be setting up a charity in the honour of my own child.

My son, Cal Stuart, died by suicide on the 7 January 2021 – he was just 23.

He had a smile that would soften the hardest of hearts. He cared deeply for those around him, often stopping and sitting down to have a conversation when he was walking past a homeless person. He’d ask how they were doing, whether they needed anything.

Growing up, Cal had no interest in the ‘in crowd’ – he was always more drawn to people who were lonely, or might be struggling in some way.

Those who were hurt, Cal would help heal; those who felt they did not ‘fit in’, Cal would elevate their self-worth.

He was a favourite in the workplace, with colleagues actively changing their shift patterns simply so they could work alongside him.

As a family, we were super close. We always talked about our family as ‘the four of us’ – Cal, his sister, Cyan, me and his mum.

Everything we dreamed of together, we’d make it work – whether that was setting up a beach bar in the south of France, or planning to attend music festivals together.

We never imagined we’d become three.

Cal suffered from depression and a heightened sense of anxiety, intensified by the pandemic and the impact on the hospitality sector in which Cal worked.

Then, in the 18 months prior to Cal’s passing, two male friends took their own lives.

Not only did this acutely impact Cal, it also made him statistically more likely to take his own life. A survey on people bereaved and affected by suicide published in 2022 showed that suicide had a major impact on over three-quarters of participants, with over a third reporting suicidal ideation and 8% attempting suicide as a direct result of suicide loss.

Signing the authorisation form to commit Cal to his cremation, at the tender age of only 23, was by far the most painful, heart-wrenching thing I have ever done in my life. It will haunt me forever, and I wish it upon no parent.

Our family had days where optimism, hope and a hold on the future totally abandoned us.

But thankfully, we were surrounded by so many who reached out to us in our pain. With words of profound comfort, they helped us stitch our hearts back together again.

It was this that enabled us to slowly open our eyes again to the future – a different future, with Cal beside us in spirit, rather than in person.

In the weeks following Cal’s death, his friendship group reached out to us, too. In those conversations, it became clear that they simply weren’t empowered or have the resources to deal with the suicide of three of their friends – especially as were only just coming out of the pandemic.

They retreated back into their spaces – alone and without support, not knowing how to care for their own wellbeing or that of their friends.

And we weren’t the only ones going through this. In 2021, Cal was one of an estimated 5,219 of people in England who took their own lives. Like Cal, these people likely had families, friends, colleagues, neighbours – people affected by their loss, but who had to live on without support.

We knew we had to do something in Cal’s name, to help people – especially young adults – who have been impacted by suicide. But it had to be more than a charity.

We wanted to inspire a movement, created and led by young people – a tribe of energised young activists who have been deeply affected by the mental health crisis. Ready to create the change that policymakers are simply failing to put in place for them.

That was how we came up with The Calzy Foundation, an organisation that would campaign for a distinct three-digit number for mental health emergencies, that would provide free mental health first response training to young adults and develop a peer-to-peer support framework for young adults bereaved by suicide.

It was also important that we involved his peer and friendship group, so The Calzy Foundation incorporated a Youth Board, right from the start, to ensure their voice was heard.

We are determined to destigmatise the word ‘suicide’, to prepare young people for the prospect of mental ill-health.

By encouraging people to talk openly about mental health and building a society where people feel more at ease to reach out and support their friends, family, colleagues and community is the only way we can address the shocking statistics on suicide.

At the moment, we are focusing on campaigning the government to establish a distinct three-digit mental health emergency line – the mental health equivalent of 999.

I want others to have a simple mental health emergency number that simply was not there for my son. A number that may have saved his life.

This number would be operational 24 hours a day, every day of the year and answered by fully trained mental health professionals. Callers would be assessed and referred through to the service they need, including the emergency services if necessary.

It would take the pressure off the police, and other emergency services and it would send a clear message that mental health emergencies are taken as seriously as other medical emergencies.

It is not intended to replace the wonderful services of providers such as Samaritans or Suicide and Co – it simply provides a more accessible, memorable 3-digit number for those in crisis to call.

Currently, there are many mental health helplines, which are run by different organisations – operating in local areas, and at different times. This means knowing who to turn to when facing a mental health emergency is often confusing or overwhelming.

With the confusion surrounding who to call, people with suicidal intentions and those in mental health crisis are calling 999, despite operators often having little or no mental health training.

Back in May, the Metropolitan Police commissioner, Sir Mark Rowley announced that the police would no longer attend any calls related to mental health incidents from September, unless a threat to life is feared.

Despite this only further confusing the issue of who people in crisis should call, the government hasn’t responded with a solution to this.

After launching a petition, we’ve received over 160,000 signatures, and are determined to press the government for implementation of this vital helpline that people who are in a heightened state of anxiety and suicide ideation will be able to remember.

We, as a family, are still heartbroken over the loss of Cal – we’re determined to stop other families going through a similar fate.

For anyone suffering trauma or crisis in their mental health, our objective is simple – for them to have the confidence to say, ‘Today is going to be OK – tomorrow now seems possible’.

You can sign The Calzy Foundation’s petition here

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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‘I try to notice when voices in my head are telling me I’ve not done “enough”,’ says Adam Folkard, 37, on his relationship with exercise.

‘If I catch those thoughts early, I can get my head up, look around, centre myself and enjoy the scenery before continuing.

‘I remind myself that all movement is good movement, and try to quiet that inner judge.’

Working up a sweat is often touted as being a go-to coping mechanism for poor mental health – it can reduce your risk of developing depression by up to 30%. But for many people, like Adam, it can have the opposite effect.

Exercise can actually trigger feelings of anxiety, and can lead to other issues such as over-training, or an eating problem, if it becomes an obsession.

The mental health charity, Mind, have partnered with sports brand ASICS, releasing new data which reveals just how muddied our thoughts around exercise can become.

They found that two in five women (43%) are put off getting physically active because it feels too competitive, while more than half (57%) don’t participate in sport because they were not good at PE at school and that’s shaped their views on fitness.

Hayley Jarvis, who works for Mind, says: ‘One of the barriers preventing people with mental health problems from getting active is feeling self-conscious about their bodies.

‘Social media depictions of physical activity, including body image, can also play a role in putting people off because they don’t feel “gym body” ready.

‘Mind found that there are particular barriers for women with mental health problems.’

Now the charity is working with ASICS on their Get Active programme to help people overcome barriers to fitness.

The programme provides tailored support to help people choose activities which are suitable for them and to enable them to take the first steps to being active.

‘We want people to enjoy being physically active for the way it makes us feel and to set realistic goals that aren’t based around weight or shape,’ she adds.

Adam Folkard, who lives near Leeds, has struggled with anxiety and depression, and has diabetes and high blood pressure. Exercise helps him combat some of these issues, and he has been supported by Mind.

But, Adam believed that if he wasn’t seeing physical changes, exercise was pointless.

‘Everything I read told me that if I just “stuck with it” or found the exercise that was “right for me”, then I would just feel fantastic. I saw so many people and publications out there telling me exercise was something amazing. For me, it was the opposite,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I would stop exercising and my mental health would improve, but then fears for my health would kick in and I’d feel like I “had” to start exercising again. This was a negative cycle that grew over time.’

Adam also says he worried what others might think when he exercised.

‘As someone living in a larger body, I was very conscious of being judged during exercise,’ he says.

‘When walking alongside other people, I would try to hide it when I was out of breath.’

One day, after forcing himself out on a walk during a lunch break, he turned back after 10 minutes, his mind racing with ‘dark thoughts’.

He decided to contact Mind, and now works with the charity to advocate for better awareness of when exercise can be unhelpful in dealing with mental health.

‘I try not to call it “exercise” in my head now,’ he says. ‘I’ve heard a number of terms, such as ‘being active’ or ‘positive movement’.

‘I know this seems like a small thing, but it takes my mind away from the negative sports related or target driven exercise I had a toxic relationship with. 

‘I have also taken the pressure off myself. I’ve removed my smart watch, and picked new walking routes, which help me get my head up and enjoy it, rather than ‘measuring’ my exercise.’

Biola Babawale, 35, from London, also realised she needed to stop viewing exercise as a goal-based activity.

She initially turned to working out after ‘going through a lot of upheavals’, including a new job and a breakup. Race training became a coping mechanism – without much thought for physical recovery and form. She soon ended up with an injury that left her in ‘agony.’

‘Before I got injured, the culture and dialogue was about the stats,’ she explains. ‘Every training session, the outcome was binary: either you fail or succeed.

‘I ended up really hurting my knee and the small quad muscles around my knee became really inflamed, such that I was off the bike for nearly a year.’

Last to cross the finish line: 'My only goal for the marathon was to complete it'

Tom Durnin, 35, was this year’s ‘final finisher’ at the London Marathon, meaning of all the runners, he crossed the finish line last.

The transport manager from Banbury tells Metro.co.uk: ‘My only goal for the marathon from the start was to complete it, my position was never a factor.

I had never done anything close to this before, so mindset to start slowly and just see if I could keep a slow jog for as long as I could.

‘I did well for the first 10 miles until injury started to set in and I was battling with my body to keep pushing and make it to the end, walking, jogging, and using an umbrella as a walking stick to help me keep moving.

‘Although a lot of the crowds had gone, a few that stayed out and cheered the last of us along the way and still had sweets being handed out which gave me a little boost.

‘The feeling I felt when I crossed the finish was absolutely incredible, it was a proud moment.

‘I had a marshal walking with me for the final six miles encouraging me to keep going.

‘Since finishing the marathon the way I feel about fitness and training has made me realise that it is only about me. Whether it is a one mile run, a short run with bursts of sprints or a walk around the local area the key is just keep moving at your own pace.’

Biola was forced to reassess why she cycled.

‘It made me really concentrate on the joy of cycling,’ she says. She no longer measures her workouts by number, nor ‘beats’ herself up if she can’t achieve a certain level of power on the bike.

‘My training is 100% about feel now and perceived effort, rather than relying on the target and getting distracted about this.

‘There’s a lot less guilt, I do less solitary and hard sessions, I’m more adventurous because I am no longer tied to training schedules.

‘Post injury, switching all the devices off, the power meters, smart watches, the tracking of the weights, I’ve focused on the here and now.

‘If I beat a number or didn’t, who knows. Who cares! The fact is I’m out there getting it done and having a blast while doing it.’

This resonates with Rachel Ashe, 37, from Swansea. She runs Mental Health Swims, a social enterprise fighting against the stigma of mental health issues through cold water swimming.

Rachel, who has social anxiety and depression, says: ‘I wanted possible participants to know that a kind welcome would be guaranteed and to know that there would be some understanding of what it’s like to live with a mental illness.

‘Cold water has loads of amazing benefits, but we focus less on that at MHS and more on how kindness can have a transformative effect on a person’s life. 

‘The word ‘exercise’ can bring up lots of difficult feelings for people, especially when we have been taught that exercise is all about burning calories, getting tighter, thinner and toned.

‘Some of us, myself included, will never be those things and that doesn’t mean I have failed at exercise.

‘We need to see a diverse range of bodies and abilities, so that we feel comfortable to try different ways of moving and see what feels good to us.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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If you take your vitamins every day, you have every right to feel smug.

You’re in the same category as people that hand wash their bras, floss twice a day, and go to 6am exercise classes.

But, if you’re going to the trouble of popping those health-boosting pills each day, you want to make sure you’re getting the most of them.

And that means, not necessarily taking your vitamins in the morning.

While it might be part of your morning routine to take your supplements with a glass of OJ before leaving for work, you could reap more benefits if you take them at different times.

Kate Booker, nutritionist at Nutrition Geeks explains: ‘A lot of people pop all their supplements in the morning all in one go, but there’s a few that you could benefit from taking at optimal times throughout the day.’

So, which vitamins should we take at what times?

Well, if you take Vitamin B in the morning, you’re off to a good start. In general, B vitamins (there are eight all together) help to release energy from food while keeping your blood, skin and nervous system healthy.

‘B vitamins are always best taken in the morning, as they can be stimulating and help increase energy to kickstart the day,’ says Kate.

Other supplements are best taken throughout the day.

‘Vitamin C is water soluble, and you’ll just pass out any excess through your urine,’ Kate explains. ‘So you’re better breaking up your dose and taking it across the day rather than all in one go.’

Vitamin C helps to protect cells, helps with wound healing and also maintains healthy skin, blood vessels, bones and cartilage.

Next, we all know Vitamin D is a good supplement to take – especially when the British weather doesn’t mean we get much from the sun. In fact, government advice is that everyone should take it during the autumn and winter.

Vitamin D helps to keep bones, teeth and muscles healthy. ‘Vitamin D best taken in the middle of the day,’ says Kate. ‘As this is when you’d naturally make vitamin D from the sun when it’s at its strongest’.

If you take magnesium that’s best taken in the evening – that’s because some studies have shown it can help you relax. ‘Magnesium is best taken at night time to encourage a good nights sleep,’ says Kate.

But, if you’ve been out in the sun, you might want to think about taking it then too. She says: ‘Magnesium is also required to make vitamin D so if you’ve had some safe sun exposure it could be beneficial to include some magnesium too.’

And finally, Kate recommends taking ashwagandha at the end of the day. Ashwaganda is an adaptogen that can help reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. ‘It can help your body respond better to stress and reduce anxiety,’ says Kate. ‘So some people prefer to take it at night.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Time in nature, a friendly chat with a stranger and the perfect cuppa, made just how you like it.

These are just some of the elements that set Brits up for a good day, according to a new study of 2,000 adults.

Other popular mood-boosters include waking up to a nice message, having plans to look forward to, and seeing that the sun is out.

Three-quarters (75%) said these little positive perks help diffuse the bits of the day that get them down, such as financial concerns and family worries.

David Horne, managing director at London North Eastern Railway (LNER), which commissioned the research to mark its five-year partnership with suicide prevention charity, Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), said: ‘Our research shows it only takes a few moments to set people up for a brighter day.

‘The biggest contributors are acts of kindness, friendship and a sense of community.’

Most of the acts on the list are small things that take very little time to achieve – highlighting that it’s the small things that count.

The study found Brits typically wake up in a negative mood an average of twice a week.

It take 24 minutes after waking up for the outcome of the day to be determined – by that point, most Brits believe they will have a good or bad day.

Factors such as how they slept, how well they’re feeling and what’s on their to do-list contribute to their ability to be positive.

67% believe it’s easier to have a good day overall if the day started off on the right track – which makes sense, as a good mood tends to colour the next part of your day.

However, 51% feel it only takes the smallest thing to tip their mood into being more positive or more negative.

When we get off to a bad start, around half of proactively try to change that, by doing things such as making a cup of tea or listening to upbeat music.

But of those who wouldn’t bother trying to improve a day that had started badly, they hope for the day to improve naturally.

Dipika Saggi, from CALM, said: ‘Sometimes the things life throws at us can make us feel a bit miserable, but as this research shows, sometimes simple, small gestures or actions can help us get through the day and give our mood a boost.

‘So send your mate that meme to make them smile, belt out your favourite song in the shower, or make time for a proper good brew.

‘No one should feel alone in their struggles, so find what works for you – chat to a mate, find professional support, or get help from CALM.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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In a time of constant hustle, dashing from meeting to meeting, bombarded by the overwhelming stress of well, everything, taking time for ourselves has never been more important.

Sure, you say, we’d all like more time to ourselves, but that’s easier said than done these days.

Au contraire, dear reader – taking just two hours out of your day to just ‘be’ can have a massive effect on your life overall.

New research commissioned by Lenovo revealed half (52%) of the nation struggle to find more than an hour to enjoy ‘me time’ at least three days a week – with 25-34-year-old respondents admitting, on average, they only have more than an hour to themselves three days a week.*

And it may come as little surprise that work can often spill into personal time, especially for millennials, with 25% saying they answer work emails outside of normal working hours at least five days a week (Deloitte, May 2023)**.

In the survey, 30% of millennials were found to be ‘exhausted’, with levels of burnout increasing from 45% to 49% between this year and last.

The solution? Well, according to the data collected by OnePoll on behalf of Lenovo in September, the desired amount of time for a daily dose of ‘me time’ is two hours.*

This is where Lenovo can help busy commuters make the most of finding two hours a day to be ‘extremely you’.

Being ‘extremely you’ can truly be anything that brings joy and an escape from the rat race (whatever that race looks like for you).

It could be as simple as a 45-minute workout followed by catching up on an episode of your favourite series (or that binge-worthy show everyone is talking about right now), but above all, taking adequate time out can help improve mental well-being as well as bring more satisfaction to your day.

Coach, and host of Calmer You Podcast, Chloe Brotheridge, insists taking time for ourselves isn’t a privilege – it’s a necessity, and there are loads of positive benefits of taking two hours a day to unapologetically do you.

‘Life can feel like a juggle, with many of us trying to balance work, family life, social life and our hobbies in an increasingly fast-paced world,’ says Chloe. ‘Having two hours a day for yourself isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity for both mental and physical well-being. This dedicated time acts as a reset button, helping to lower stress levels, enhance focus, prevent burnout and enjoy life.’

How Lenovo's Tab Extreme can help you find your groove

With a large 14.5” 3K OLED display delivering stunning contrast, colours, and brightness, you can simply kick back and enjoy some much-needed downtime.

From watching the latest episodes of a binge-worthy series or intense gameplay, to embracing your inner artist with the Lenovo Tab Extreme and Lenovo Precision Pen 3, you’re spoilt for choice when it comes to ways to embrace some quality TLC time.

For those who work from a tablet, the Tab Extreme features an ergonomic design with 16 functional shortcuts, making it one step easier to complete tasks. And when it’s time to unwind, the innovative dual-hinge design doubles as a stand for hands-free viewing. So you can switch from work to play and back again, squeezing in some much needed ‘me time’ into your busy day.

Lenovo is on a mission to help those of us who are time-poor (hello fellow millennials) to find the right tools to take much-needed time out every day and its Tab Extreme may be the answer.

You can experience up to 12 hours of streaming on a single charge, and with its portability features, the Android™-powered tablet is designed to help you take your own sweet time, whether that’s catching up on TV, enjoying some sketching or getting the chance to zen out listening to music, anywhere you go.

Rest is productive and essential for feeling and performing our best, with Chloe adding: ‘Taking time for yourself can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress.

‘In this “rest and digest” mode of the nervous system, digestion improves, and the process of repairing and renewing cells is accelerated. Mental functions like concentration and memory can improve as your brain also gets a chance to relax and recharge.’

Chloe adds: ‘Plus, lower stress levels are also associated with a healthier immune system, a slower rate of ageing and a lowered risk of many diseases.’

She says we should be looking at time to ourselves as an investment that doesn’t just make us more productive and efficient in our work and personal life but will also help us become calmer and happier, noting we become ‘a better friend, parent, partner, boss or colleague’. 

We’ll take that!

Discover Lenovo’s Tab Extreme here and feel inspired to take two hours a day to be extremely you.

*Research conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Lenovo, 2,000 British adults aged 18+, in September 2023.

**https://www2.deloitte.com/uk/en/pages/press-releases/articles/two-thirds-of-uk-gen-zs-and-millennials-opt-for-remote-and-hybrid-working.html

Autumn is the perfect time to indulge. 

With all the hot chocolates, baked goods, pumpkin spice lattes and all of the festive menus, how could we not enter treat-mode? 

But if you often find yourself feeling a little sluggish towards the end of the year, don’t worry, TikTok has a hack for that.

Enter: the 75 Hotter challenge, which puts a Hot Girl spin on the more extreme 75 Hard challenge that blew up in 2020.

75 Hard, which was said to improve mental toughness among other physical results, consisted of a series of super strict rules such as no alcohol or cheat meals, drinking a gallon of water a day, completing two 45-minute workouts a day and reading 10 pages of non-fiction every single day for 75 days straight. 

If you failed at any of these rules, you had to start from day one. 

While a number of people did manage to successfully follow 75 Hard, many concluded that the all-or-nothing approach to lifestyle changes, not to mention the extremity of the rules, was unhealthy at best, if not a little toxic.

But the challenge did inspire some softer spin-offs, such as the aptly named 75 Soft challenge, which really dialled back the expectations, and, most recently, the 75 Hotter challenge. 

What is 75 Hotter?

75 Hotter was created by TikToker @itsmejadeb, who wants to spend the next 10 weeks before Christmas becoming ‘mind, body, soul hotter’.

She said she followed 75 Hard earlier in the year, but wanted to do something ‘a little bit more me’. 

While Jade does suggest prioritising protein and veggies and working out five times a week, 75 Hotter is about way more than health and fitness.

There are multiple rules regarding our social and dating lives, such as number one, which is cutting off toxic people and ‘going no contact’ for the whole 75 days.

But it’s not all burning bridges: Jade also suggests connecting or reconnecting with someone – either someone you’re building a friendship with or an old friend – at least once per week.

She also suggests drinking enough water so that ‘your pee is clear’ and only drinking alcohol to enjoy yourself with friends or family.

Rather than fostering mental fortitude and extreme weight loss, the 75 Hotter challenge is apparently about enriching your life ahead of the holiday season, from cutting out toxic people and building new connections to focusing a little more on diet and exercise.

There’s no pressure to follow every single rule every single day, but it’s likely that doing so will promote balance and happiness in your life – just in time for Christmas and the start of a brand new year. 

The reaction online has been pretty positive so far.

‘I was prepared to hate this but actually it’s very realistic and sustainable! I hate self help books and 75 hard felt isolating,’ one person commented.

And remember, if working out five times a week is too much for you, cut it down to something that feels manageable.

‘I’m starting tomorrow, but I’m not working out, baby steps,’ another person said. ‘I’m going to try to walk every day. No more being glued to my office chair/couch/bed.’

There’s nothing hotter than listening to your own mind and body.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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‘I was convinced that it was a cyst… when it turned out to be cancer, it was a shock,’ remembers Dough Harper, 61, who battled with breast cancer in 2012.

Breast cancer in men is rare, with just around 400 new cases in the UK each year, compared to around 55,000 new cases in women, which is why so few know it’s possible for men.

However, those 400 cases can be helped with the right treatment quickly, if awareness improves.

Doug, who lives in Plumstead, says: ‘I was laughing and joking with the doctor until I took my shirt off and his expression changed.

‘I was the first man in three years to be diagnosed with breast cancer in my local health authority.’

Doug is a father of five and former print worker, but now is sharing his story this Breast Cancer Awareness Month to spread the word that breast cancer affects everyone, joining the Real Self-Checker campaign by Asda Tickled Pink.

This October, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Asda, Breast Cancer Now and CoppaFeel! are encouraging shoppers to make checking their boobs, pecs and chests for the signs and symptoms.

Doug didn’t realise men could get breast cancer when he first found his lump.

‘All my life I’ve been scared of having cancer. If there was anything on the telly about it, I’d turn it over, or anything in the paper I wouldn’t read it,’ he says.

‘I was unaware that men could get breast cancer until a day or two before my diagnosis and even then I found out how rare it was, so I was not conditioned to the fact that I could have breast cancer.’

In the UK, around 85 men die each year from the disease, and 81% of those deaths are in men aged 65 and over.

When Doug told the people in his life about his diagnosis, he says most of them were shocked and had no idea he could get breast cancer.

‘I would say that about 95% of people I told were unaware that men could get breast cancer,’ he says.

‘So much so that when I went to the pharmacy the day after the diagnosis, to get Tamoxifen, the pharmacist shouted out to me in front of a load of people that the prescription could not be for me because this is medication for women.

‘For the first and certainly not the last time I told him sternly “men get breast cancer too mate!”‘

Even though only 400 men a year get breast cancer, the five-year survival rates are lower for men than women in the UK, Doug has gone on to find out.

‘This may be because men often ignore a lump, they leave it too late. There are some men who find it embarrassing even to check, but we’ve all got breast tissue,’ he adds.

‘Even some GPs do not seem aware men can be diagnosed with breast cancer. I have heard at least two stories from men I know that were told that it was probably just a cyst and to come back in six months.

‘Luckily for them they are ok, but that could have led to their deaths. Everyone needs educating.’

Doug had six rounds of chemotherapy and three weeks of radiotherapy. The chemo ‘knocked’ him out, and losing his hair was a hard pill to swallow, so he dyed it bright red then shaved it off.

‘It gave me some control over my body,’ he says.

‘The chemo knocked me out but my mindset was that if it was strong enough to do that to me, then it must be doing serious damage to the cancer.’

Breast Cancer Now’s senior clinical nurse specialist, Louise Grimsdell, says men as well as women need to check their breast tissue regularly.

‘The most common symptom is a lump in the chest area which is often painless,’ she says.

‘Other symptoms may include discharge from the nipple, a tender or inverted nipple, ulcers on the chest or nipple, or swelling of the chest area or lymph nodes under the arm.

‘We urge men to contact their GP if they find any new or unusual changes in their chest area – while most changes won’t be cancer, on the occasions it is, the sooner breast cancer is found the more successful treatment is likely to be.’

For information and support surrounding signs and symptoms or how to check, speak to expert nurses by calling Breast Cancer Now’s free Helpline on 0808 800 6000 or visit: breastcancernow.org/tlc-men.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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As a former police officer I’ve seen a lot of death in my lifetime – but I’ve also saved a lot of lives, too.

Some I saved during the decade I served in the Met, but the majority have been through giving blood.

In fact, since I started donating in 1976, I’ve saved more than 450 lives.

My decision to donate wasn’t triggered by a specific moment, or life altering news.

It was actually as simple as the clinic dropping off leaflets to the office where I then worked as a trader.

They explained how the process worked and that there was a shortage of donors – especially among people with Black heritage, and sadly this is still the case in 2023.

As I read through the leaflet, I thought to myself ‘why not?’ – to me, becoming a part of the solution was a no-brainer.

Of course, in the early days, I would ask lots of questions about the process of giving and what the blood would be used for. It made me feel more at ease knowing the ins and outs.

But I drop-in so often now that I feel like a part of the family.

The nurses and I have gone from exchanging the usual pleasantries to knowing each other on a first name basis – we even share stories about our holidays and updates on our loved ones.

So much has changed since I first started giving blood, too.

Registering is easier than ever now. You can do it online by submitting your details, answering some very simple questions, then find your local centre and manage your appointments. Whereas back in the day, you’d have to go down in person or call up, but now I book an appointment every 12 weeks at a time that suits me.

I’ve seen so many people die simply because they couldn’t receive the right blood due to a shortage. All it takes is one donation to save up to three lives

From start to finish the appointment usually takes around 40 minutes, but the actual blood donation only lasts 10 minutes.

Plus, at the end of the appointment, you get a ‘thank you’ and of course a tasty treat – my personal favourites are the chocolate biscuits.

But what matters more than that is knowing that my blood is going to do good.

I’m in my mid-sixties now, so I’ve been giving blood for over 40 years. I even remember the day I gave my 150th donation.

Though it started out like any other appointment, the nurses soon informed me of the milestone I reached. I couldn’t believe it! To double check, I had a proper look at my appointment letter and there it was in black and white, the note saying it was my 150th donation.

A blood donation is roughly one pint, and with that single donation it can help to save or improve the lives of up to three adults or six babies, so in terms of adults that would be 450 people.

Even though that seems like a lot of blood to give, one of the reasons I’ve remained consistent is for people who are fighting sickle cell disease, which has become the fastest growing genetic blood disorder in the UK.

Sickle cell disease is a serious and lifelong health condition and it mostly affects people of African or Caribbean heritage.

Those with the condition produce unusually shaped red blood cells that don’t live as long as healthy blood cells. These cells can then block blood vessels leading to a number of health issues such as organ damage and strokes.

In terms of treatment, many patients need regular blood transfusions to stay alive.

But it’s the Ro subtype of blood that is used and this is 55% more likely to be found in people of Black heritage compared to 2% in other ethnicities.

I was recently chosen to feature in a mural painted by a fantastic street artist called Dreph. The 20ft piece is called Giving Type and it also highlights the achievements of four other donors of Black heritage.

It was unveiled at the Stockwell Hall of Fame in London and such a huge honour to be recognised as part of the campaign by NHS Blood & Transplant to recruit 12,000 more donors. I hope that the mural encourages more people from Black communities to head down to their local donation centre and give blood – even Dreph was inspired and donated after he heard our stories!

Outside of treatment for sickle cell patients, blood donations are also used in emergencies, operations, childbirth and are also used to treat certain blood disorders and cancers.

That’s why we need more donors and why I continue to raise awareness.

I’ve seen so many people die simply because they couldn’t receive the right blood due to a shortage. All it takes is one donation to save up to three lives.

Never did I imagine that picking up a leaflet all those years ago would lead me to saving 450 people but I am so glad it did. Very shortly after donating I get an email telling me which hospital the blood has been delivered to – those who donate don’t ever know who has received the blood but there’s something humbling about being informed about the journey of where it has gone.

I want other people to know you are never too old to give blood. I’m 64, but I will continue to donate for as long as I am physically able.

If you are a giving type, become a blood donor via the ‘GiveBloodNHS’ app or at www.blood.co.uk.

Black History Month

October marks Black History Month, which reflects on the achievements, cultures and contributions of Black people in the UK and across the globe, as well as educating others about the diverse history of those from African and Caribbean descent.

For more information about the events and celebrations that are taking place this year, visit the official Black History Month website.

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Nobody’s breath smells perfectly minty fresh when they wake up, but some morning breath is better than others.

The good news is that a dentist says there are things you can do to make bad morning breath better.

Dr Richard Marques tells Metro.co.uk that there are four common causes of bad breath when you wake up.

These four key culprits are poor oral hygiene routines, dehydration, eating or drinking strong-selling foods or liquids, and a dry mouth.

He adds: ‘A dry mouth caused by sleeping with your mouth open is the most common factor in bad morning breath specifically.

‘This is due to the saliva in the mouth drying up, meaning that bacteria can stick to your teeth and gums rather than being washed away – causing it to fester and cause bad breath when waking.’

How to make your morning breath better

There’s a range of things that you can do to give your morning breath a boost.

‘Using tools to prevent mouth breathing at night and encourage nasal breathing, such as nasal decongestants and sprays, can help improve morning breath,’ recommends Dr Richard.

‘Other dental tools such as a tongue scraper prevent bacteria build-up and keep your tongue clean. Most importantly, ensuring that a good level of oral hygiene is maintained is crucial to avoid bad-smelling breath.’

This means brushing your teeth twice a day, flossing regularly, and using mouthwash.

‘Staying hydrated to decrease the chances of a dry mouth is encouraged,’ adds Dr Richard, ‘as well as a healthy, well-balanced diet.’

He continues: ‘If bad breath persists and extends long after the morning for a number of weeks, this could be a sign of health issues that need medical attention such as problems with your teeth or gums that could be gum disease, cavities, and infections.

‘Regular trips to the dentist can prevent issues from going unnoticed and prevent long-term bad breath.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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‘He’s nice enough, but I don’t think he’s emotionally mature enough for you Em,’ Mum said softly.

I’d been divulging the details of my on-again-off-again relationship with my ex, and it was nice to have Mum’s thoughts.

I’d confessed all.

How we never seemed to be able to communicate.

How a friend had called us out for talking to one another like dirt on multiple occasions.

How I was scared that, if either of us shut the door for good, then I’d never be enough for anyone else.

It was a very deep conversation to be having on a random Tuesday morning, but it was the first time I’d ever confided in my mum about my love life like this.

Despite my hesitancy to speak about it all at first, it was so nice to finally chat to her about it.

And I think she was thankful for the distraction too.

You see, the only reason we had time to dish about my love life now was because Mum was in the middle of treatment for breast cancer.

The last time Mum and Dad called my brother and I into the living room for a family meeting, it was to tell us that Nan’s cancer was back.

That, this time, it was likely terminal.

So, when they called us in again in September 2021, I didn’t think there was anything they could say that would be worse.

I was wrong.

‘I found a lump,’ Mum said. Four small words, but they changed everything.

In any situation, I’m normally full of questions – but in that moment, I was silent.

I listened numbly as Mum explained that when she went for her routine mammogram in July 2021, it flagged something in her right breast but while doctors did ultrasounds and a biopsy, Mum discovered a lump in her left breast.

Eventually, she was diagnosed with grade 1 breast cancer.

‘What happens now?’ my brother asked.

Mum said her doctors were fairly certain she’d need an operation to remove the lump, then a course of radiotherapy.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple.

Two weeks after her lumpectomy in October, doctors told her they hadn’t managed to remove all the cancer. She needed another op.

But before that could happen, my nan passed away. Emotions were already heightened and the loss hit hard – especially for my dad.

‘I can’t lose my mum and my wife in the same year,’ he admitted one night.

Dad was more the strong and silent type. You’d never really know when things were getting to him, or at least he never showed it to my brother and I. But this time, it was like he couldn’t hold it in, the grief and worry plain to see.

By now, I was worried about not just Mum’s health, but mine too. As a bigger-breasted woman – despite knowing that size has no effect on your chances of developing breast cancer – it was something I’d always been wary of. And Mum’s diagnosis had pushed that wariness into very real worries.

I was checking my breasts once every other day, and was even researching if I’d qualify for a preventative mastectomy. It was a total overreaction on my part - but I couldn’t bear for our family to go through this again.

Mum herself though remained strong and was admitted for her second lumpectomy in November, a week after my nan’s funeral.

And though I was working, I was always at home, so I could ferry her to appointments and to radiotherapy when that began in January 2022.

‘You need to relax and let your body recover,’ I told her firmly.

Mum is a regular workaholic. It’s actually a sore spot for both of us that she missed so much of my childhood growing up due to her work as an intranet manager for a corporate law firm.

But now, in a way, we could make up for lost time.

We’d put on her favourite films, Some Like It Hot and Grease, or binge watch old series of Love Island – she lives for the drama.

And as we sat together on the sofa, we started chatting – mostly about my messy love life.

I know that sounds like normal mother-daughter stuff, but we’d never really talked about things like that before in any depth.

My love life was my business and I’d never really felt like I could open up. I’d tell her if I broke up with someone or had a new partner of course, but I’d never really share the ins and outs, fights or good times.

But now I wanted to.

Soon, we were talking about all sorts of things. My plans to live and work abroad one day, maybe in Australia or New York. My friend’s upcoming wedding, we’d bounce ideas off one another about the hen do.

We even talked about her plans to retire and how she wanted to get the kitchen done. Every topic, no matter how frivolous, was up for discussion.

Mum admitted how much she regrets not being there for my brother and I when we were younger. And I in turn apologised for not always understanding why, sometimes, work came before us. Small steps but they really helped us both to heal.

In fact, I’d never felt closer to her.

However, as a family, we were dealt another blow in April 2022, when Mum discovered another lump in her left breast. She’d also been feeling lumps in her thyroid and had further biopsies to determine if the cancer had spread.

Thankfully it hadn’t but she had to endure a third lumpectomy and had the left side of her thyroid removed as a precaution.

She was put on medication to stop the production of oestrogen, the driving force behind mum’s cancer, and, this February, it was decided she’d have her ovaries removed. We’re just waiting on a date.

At the moment, she seems to be in remission and has since returned to work.

She’s been working late nights again, which worries me, but I do my best to make sure she’s looked after. I cook for her all the time and, when she has a minute between meetings, I make a point of having a water-cooler style gossip with her about something that’s happened at work or, most recently, about what’s been going on in my dating life.

She’s loved hearing about the dates I’ve gone on, helping to decipher which of the two boys I was seeing would make the cut. (I told you she lives for the drama.)

Honestly, our relationship has continued to go from strength to strength. We regularly go on mother-daughter dates, sometimes just a quick shopping spree to the local B&M or Dunelm or, when we’re feeling particularly fancy, a theatre trip.

Of course, life isn’t quite what it was before. I still can’t hug her tight on her left and there are days when her pain is worse than others. But she’s managing.

We eventually got confirmation that the type of cancer Mum has isn’t genetic and it’s not linked to the BRCA gene. But I haven’t let up on checking myself, and I probably never will.

Mum’s diagnosis changed everything.

As a family, we’re so much more open about what is happening in our lives – health and otherwise.

But the biggest change has been between Mum and I.

I never really understood what it meant to be best friends with your mum. Yes, I’ve always been proud of her and loved her and of course, I still refuse to accept that mother knows best.

But, through the way she has dealt with her diagnosis and following treatment, she has shown me how to be strong.

She is now my first port of call for everything – be it boy drama, work woes or friendship fallouts. Even if I just need a good gossip and retail therapy, she’s my go-to.

Of course, I wish she’d never been diagnosed, but in a weird way, I’m almost glad that we’ve been through this together. It’s made us stronger in every single way.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Running is equally as effective as treating some types of depression with antidepressants, according to new research.

The groundbreaking study, led by researchers at Vrije University, in Amsterdam, is the first to compare antidepressants with exercise as methods of treatment for depression.

For the study, 141 patients with anxiety and depression were given the choice of either taking antidepressants or attending a supervised running group 2-3 times a week for a 16-week period.

While 96 of these patients chose running, the remaining 45 picked medication.

Overall, the same percentage of people (44%) from either group reported feeling better once the 16 weeks were up – with those who chose the running group also experiencing an improvement in heart health, weight, and blood pressure.

However, researchers also highlighted a number of factors to take into account when viewing these results.

Despite running initially being the most popular choice, nearly half (48%) of those who signed up to the running regimen ended up dropping out before the trial was completed.

Meanwhile, 82% of those who chose anti-depressants saw the trial through for the whole 16-week period – and were recorded as having more severe depression than those who chose running.

Speaking about the results, Professor Brenda Pennix stressed that while running was found to be a positive medication-free option for depression, antidepressants are still an important choice for many.

She said: ‘It is important to say that there is room for both therapies in care for depression. 

‘Antidepressants are generally safe and effective. They work for most people. We know that not treating depression at all leads to worse outcomes; so antidepressants are generally a good choice.

‘Nevertheless, we need to extend our treatment arsenal as not all patients respond to antidepressants or are willing to take them.

‘Our results suggest that implementing exercise therapy is something we should take much more seriously, as it could be a good – and maybe even better – choice for some of our patients.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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‘Sitting in the baby unit, I held Rosie, my tiny baby, who was the size of a doll and I said goodbye to her,’ says Nikki Peterson, 44.

‘She had just arrived in our life, this tiny scrap of joy, and my husband Nick and I had to watch as she took her last breath.

‘She died in my arms. She was six days old.’

Nikki’s daughter, Rosie, was born prematurely on April 26, 2006, at just 23 weeks. This week Nikki and her husband Nik, 45, will be lighting a candle at 7pm on October 15 for the ‘Wave of Light’, an initiative organised for Baby Loss Awareness Week.

The globally recognised event sees families across the world light a candle and leave it burning for at least one hour, to remember all babies that have died too soon.

In the UK, it is estimated that one in four pregnancies end in loss during pregnancy or birth, with around 4,500 babies born stillborn, or dying shortly after birth every year, which equals to about 13 death per day.

‘You’re a member of a club that no one wants to be part of,’ says Nikki. ‘You never dream it might happen to you.’

Nikki was working media sales and had been with her husband Nick for eight years when she fell pregnant. ‘We lived in this cute cottage in a country village in Sussex and I was so happy to be pregnant with our first child.’

But she was at work when suddenly had a stomach ache. ‘It wasn’t that bad,’ she says. But she rang the hospital to be on the safe side, and they suggested she came down for a check-up.

‘They were messing about in reception with paperwork but when they finally examined me, all hell broke loose,’ Nikki remembers. ‘Doctors came running in from every direction and someone rang Nick.  

‘”You’re having your baby, he needs to be here,” they said. I gave birth to Rosie in six hours.’

Nikki describes her ordeal as ‘horrific’.

‘The consultant was telling me he didn’t think she would survive so I didn’t know if I was giving birth to a dead baby,’ she says. ‘I didn’t even get chance to hold Rosie as they whipped her away. She weighed one pound when she was born.

‘I was put on the labour ward and all I could see around me were happy mums.  My baby was two floors up in the special unit, covered in wires and tubes – it was completely silent apart from the beeps of the machines.

‘Rosie was so fragile, we couldn’t touch her, apart from to use a cotton bud to wipe her mouth. It was torture. I had to try and express milk to feed her. I would just sit and cry.’

Nikki said they stayed with their daughter for five days, until medics gave them the choice whether or not to switch off her life support. ‘It was the most difficult decision I have ever made,’ says Nikki.

After Rosie’s death, Nikki was sent home. ‘You’ve given birth, so your body is bleeding, you’re trying to produce milk and your hormones are all over the place, but you have no baby.

‘When I went to the GP, he made a throwaway comment about Rosie being a miscarriage. But she was my child. I silently vowed to myself that no woman should have to suffer such terrible off hand treatment.’

Nikki found it difficult to return to work. ‘It was hard to tell people when they asked (if they even asked) about my baby. What do you say? “She died”.

‘People would avoid me in the office if they saw me coming.’

Eventually Nikki left her job and travelled with her husband to Switzerland to do a ski season. ‘Losing a baby makes you re-evaluate everything,’ she says. ‘Nik and I had been on track to live a conventional life – marriage, babies, a house, good careers. Now, we questioned what we wanted.

‘I left a £50K job to be a maid in a chalet, Nik was the chef, cooking for families when he was used to running the kitchen in top restaurants. But I will never forget one night when we headed to the slopes after work and we breathed in the mountain air and I felt my heart lift. Nik took my hand. He felt it too. After all the grief, it was a relief to feel positive again.’

Five months into the trip to Switzerland, Nikki found herself pregnant again. ‘The pregnancy wasn’t planned. And I was terrified,’ she says. ‘This time I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘We came back to England and stayed with my parents – I didn’t work because I was too scared I would lose the baby.’

Terrifyingly, at 28 weeks, the same thing happened. ‘I was having a little girl and I went into labour too soon,’ says Nikki.

‘Tiger was born 12 weeks early and I was told that she might not make it through the night.’

Nikki had to have an emergency caesarean but miraculously, Tiger survived and soon blossomed into a healthy toddler. Another daughter, Betsy followed two years later. ‘Suddenly I had this healthy family. I felt so blessed but have never forgot what we’d gone through with Rosie.’

Nikki left media sales and retrained as a baby loss coach and now works for SLOW (Surviving the Loss of Our World), an award-winning bereavement charity offering support for bereaved parents and siblings in the UK following the loss of a child.

‘SLOW welcomes all bereaved parents, be it weeks, months or years after the death of your child, whether your child was an adult or a baby or the varying circumstances in which they died,’ says Nikki.

‘SLOW is always there when the grief becomes too difficult to bear alone and our primary aim is to provide a safe space that is welcoming, where you can meet and share your experience with other bereaved parents.’

Nikki’s coaching practice works on building your life up again after unimaginable loss: ‘When I lost Rosie, I lost my future plans, I lost my innocence, my confidence, my happiness, friends, dreams, trust, everything. But you can rebuild your life after the death of a child and there is a process to that. I always say Rosie is my superpower and she inspires me to create a life of meaning and love,’ says Nikki.

Both Tiger and Betsy had finished primary school when Nikki found herself pregnant again at 42. ‘It wasn’t planned and once again, I was terrified,’ she says.

‘Not only was it a high-risk pregnancy, I was also classed as a geriatric mum. But our son Bruno was born full term and healthy in 2021 and was the gift we never thought we needed. He has brought such joy to the whole family.’

‘We scattered Rosie’s ashes in the Ashdown Forest near to where we live and now the girls, Nik and I take Bruno up there and we talk to her on her birthday,’ says Nikki.

‘Rosie may not be here physically but she’s still part of our family.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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As October begins, I cannot help but be thankful for our Indian Summer, after several dismal and rainy months.

I know it’s rather British of me to talk about the weather but the recent sunshine has done wonders for my physical and mental health.

As someone who has brittle bones, a collagen deficiency, dexterity issues and metal telescopic rods that run through my legs, sunshine helps soothe my aches and pains.

The boost of vitamin D helps my bone density and, as someone who battles with general anxiety disorder, longer, lighter days help lighten my mood.

Yet, despite knowing all the positives that come from glorious sunshine, I haven’t had a proper holiday in over five years.

Sure, there has been that small technicality of a pandemic, but even before and after that, I haven’t flown off to chill on a beach for ages.

Because, truth be told, I’ve never had a holiday where I’ve felt completely at ease, safe and comfortable.

Holidays are supposed to be a time to unwind and forget your woes. Yet, for me, I’ve always felt on edge, like a burden or struggled in my new environment.

Just to clarify, I’ve always loved the people I’ve been on holiday with, whether that be family or friends, and that’s what has really mattered, spending time with people I love.

However, I wish, just once, that I could take a vacation where I maintain my independence, feel like I’m residing in a home from home and come back feeling replenished and rejuvenated.

Rather than having to worry if my access needs will be met or if insufficient provisions will impact me, and those who are with me.

I cannot remember a holiday where I’ve not struggled even with the basics, like going to the bathroom, or been able to get up stairs and steps without being carried.

Instead, holidays have been filled with inaccessible beaches and coaches. I remember one holiday with my girlfriends, where we had to hire a rather costly accessible minibus to get us from the airport to our hotel instead of using the coach that was provided.

I felt so guilty, especially as I didn’t have the funds to pay for it solo. My friends were happy to chip in, and sure, this is what friends do but I couldn’t help but feel shame.

Holidays can be stressful for anyone – delayed flights, lost baggage, kids squabbling or catching a tummy bug.

However, when you have a disability, there is so much more to plan and navigate, that sometimes you think, why bother?

There is something undignified about being on your period and having your male friend helping you on and off the loo

As someone who has a condition where broken bones can happen often, I never travel anywhere without travel insurance.

But just having the diagnosis of brittle bones excludes me for many travel insurance brokers. And the ones that do accept my diagnosis charge a premium. On one occasion, I paid almost as much in insurance for a two-week trip to Mexico than the flight itself.

The view of someone having a disability being more high risk always seems unfair to me.

If, like me, you know the risks of your condition, you go above and beyond to safeguard against them on holiday.

I would, therefore, argue anyone – irrespective of their circumstances – going on a holiday, where alcohol and water, or balconies, are involved, should have to pay a premium.

Then there is the issue of travel itself. Given the fact that I cannot walk, I cannot travel independently on a flight. I always need to be accompanied.

This wasn’t such a big deal when I was younger travelling with family, or in college years when I went away with my girlfriends. But now I’m in my 30s, most of my friends have families and understandably go away with them.

I could pay for a private support assistant but having to fork out for 24-hour support would be an enormous cost.

Not to mention the risks to your mobility equipment – roughly 29 wheelchairs are broken each day by airlines.

On a trip to Morocco, the airline lost the seat cushion of my manual chair. No big deal, it’s only a cushion, right? Wrong. My cushion was made to measure, designed to breath and avoid pressure sores.

I spent most of that particular holiday physically uncomfortable and the makeshift cushion we’d fashioned was too low for me to propel my chair, so I needed to be pushed around, completely halting my ability to do even the simplest of tasks.

Thankfully, I got my cushion back after a few days, but it really impacted my holiday.

When you have a disability, your home is your sanctuary.

Everything is where it should be so that we can maintain our independence and autonomy, even down to the minute detail of where we keep our phone charger or the string to help open and close doors.

So being in a new environment can really impact us.

I’ve been to hotels that have advertised as accessible, yet I still cannot get my wheelchair through the bathroom door. Every time I’ve needed to use the toilet or shower, I’ve had to get a friend to carry me, completely eradicating any sense of privacy or autonomy.

Luckily, I’m super close with my friends but there is something undignified about being on your period and having your male friend helping you on and off the loo.

Plus, I don’t want my friends or family to have to come to my aid while we’re on holiday. I want them to relax, in the same way I want to be able to relax.

Disabled people deserve to enjoy their time away. We deserve luxury, we deserve spontaneity, and we deserve to have our needs met, irrespective of where we are.

Finally, things seem to be changing in our favour. Recently I attended a parliamentary event to celebrate the success of the Rights on Flights campaign spearheaded by TV presenter Sophie Morgan.

The campaign shed light on the inaccessibility of airlines and has already assured more accessible air travel – including accessible bathrooms on planes and a prospect of remaining in your own wheelchair on board. 

Of course, disabilities all look and feel different, so I guess there will never be a holiday resort that will tick everyone’s bespoke boxes.

But that doesn’t mean that tourism and leisure facilities can’t go above and beyond to ensure they are catering for the disabled traveller. 

It’s what we deserve.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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When it comes to couples therapy, both parties have to agree to attend it in the first place, and this can be a hurdle in itself.

Despite the proven benefits of therapy, for some people, the idea of sharing your feelings with a stranger seems weird, confusing, and pretty damn terrifying.

We might assume that it’s because of pride or a refusal to accept that anything is actually wrong with our relationship.

But one therapist has taken to TikTok with a strong opinion on why men refuse to come to couples therapy with their wife or girlfriend.

In a video that’s received 1.5 million views so far, Kristina Virro, a psychotherapist from Ontario, explains that men simply feel they will be ‘picked on’.

She says: ‘A common thing I see as a therapist is that women in heterosexual relationships will have a hard time bringing their partner to couples therapy because he’s worried that the therapist will “pick on him”.

‘If a man does agree to go to couples therapy, nine times out of ten he usually asks for a male therapist because there’s this assumption that the male therapist will “get him” and be less inclined to pick on him.’

Kristina went on to suggest this stems from a change in the format of heterosexual relationships.

‘Historically people married for much more functional reasons than they do now, she said.

‘In Western society it was usually that men would go to work and women would stay at home.’

She pointed out that in Canada 70% of couples are now dual-income couples and a study by Wells Fargo in 2021 showed that 1/3 of millennial and Gen Z women are making more money than their partner in heterosexual relationships.

Kristina added: ‘A lot of women come into relationships being like “okay I work hard for my money and make good money, in fact I might make more than my partner – I don’t need a bread winner anymore”.

‘What a woman is now looking for is companionship, emotional intelligence, good sex and love from her partner.

‘Now we have a situation because this whole time men have been like, “I just need to provide, I just need to provide” and now they’re being asked to have skills that they have not been societally raised to develop.’

She even cited a study carried out in the UK, which shows that men don’t develop emotional maturity until the age of 43.

‘So I’m going to say something. If it feels like you’re getting picked on in therapy, it’s not because we are trying to pick on you,’ she said.

‘It is because I am trying to teach you skills that society has not engrained in you. This is not your fault but it is an issue and it is something men need to work on if they want to stay in happy, healthy heterosexual relationships.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I am also focusing a lot of attention on women and what they need to develop but I think that this is a really important thing we need to work on as a society.

‘So don’t see it as being picked on, just see it as “okay you haven’t developed certain skills that need to be developed” and that is precisely what couples therapy is for.’

So what Kristina seems to say is that constructive criticism shouldn’t be misconstrued for being ‘picked on’.

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When he was 16, Danny Edmead had an eight week trial with a team he had always dreamed of playing with, Tottenham Hotspurs.

However, after the stint, the teenager wasn’t kept on with the club.

‘I remember finishing my training session with them. I played very well, so I asked the Tottenham coach if the decision about signing me had been made,’ Danny tells Metro.

‘Two coaches then took me into an office where they reassured me that I was a good and hard working player who would go far in football – however, they were unfortunately unable to sign me but hopefully would see me in the future.

‘I was so disheartened because I really felt like I had put in the effort to get signed and built a good bond with the coaches.’

Undeterred, Danny went for more trials, this time with Charlton, Watford and Fulham. Each time, he felt like he was in grasping reach of playing for a club that would see him go pro – but each time, there was no call back after the trial.

It would be a devastating experience for anyone, not to mention someone so young. Each moment turning a promising future into uncertainty and doubt.

‘I was in year 11 when I went to trial for Tottenham,’ he explains. 

‘When I didn’t get signed it really added to the pressures I already felt as a student and I began to worry about the next steps for my life.’

However, Danny’s greatest disappointment occurred after he was signed by the German Bundesliga 2 team (U19) SG Unnterrath, however, was unable to stay due to the club’s financial issues, which were partly caused by the Covid lockdown.

‘I was there for a year and a half but then things got difficult because the club at the time didn’t have the finances to house me so I had to be accommodated by my agent,’ he explains.

‘After a while, my agent was finding it financially difficult to house me as it was very expensive in Germany as a result I had to go back to London. 

‘I believe if I had the chance to stay I would be playing in the Bundesliga (first team) by now. 

The pandemic had a disastrous impact on many young players, leaving them without a team or even the opportunity to find one due to the lockdown restrictions on football finances and player movement around Europe. 

‘It felt like I had to restart my journey,’ Danny adds. ‘I wasn’t involved in any training, so I really struggled when I got back since I had a lot of time to think. 

‘Eventually, I realised that this was feeding into my mental health negatively and so I decided to speak to family and friends about the struggle, as well as the negative thoughts I was combating.’ 

Danny, now 19, and still trying to make it in football, is sharing his story as part of a new initiative offering young players like him a chance at a different career.

Created by Impact Films Academy, it hopes to give them a better future by providing opportunities in filmmaking and has collaborated with the Mind mental health charity for its first project – a short film called Kicks.  

Thankfully, the narrative around men’s football is slowly shifting from an era where players were urged to bottle up their emotion.

However, for many, not fast enough. Teen prodigy Joel Darlington – who had trials with Manchester United FC and represented Wales at youth level – took his own life in 2019 after injury halted his dreams.

Meanwhile, former players such as Marvin Sordell – who attempted suicide aged 23 due to the pressure he felt in his career – have since encouraged men to seek help.

In Kicks, Danny has utilised his experience and skills as a football choreographer for the short drama, which also features former footballer Barry Silkman. 

Barry played for several professional football clubs in the UK during 1970s and 80s, including Manchester City, Crystal Palace and Leyton Orient, and went on to represent some of the most successful football players in the world, including David Villa an Demba Ba, as an agent.  

‘The biggest pressure for me was probably more towards the end of my career as you realise in your mid-30s you’ve actually got to do something other than football,’ he tells Metro. 

‘I felt no pressure at the start of my career. I was released from QPR, Fulham and then Hereford as a young player. My only support system was my mum and dad but for me, that was enough. 

‘I was always very strong both physically and mentally from a young boy. It was probably being raised in the East End of London and having an incredibly strong mother that helped.

‘Also a big part of that was that neither of my parents put me under any kind of pressure to be a footballer, unlike a lot today who push their kids from a very young age sometimes as young as seven. That’s all wrong. I didn’t have any of that.’

Premier League football academies allow up to 250 boys to participate, making it possible for as many as 5,000 to be involved in the system at any given time.

However, according to Premier League statistics, less than 0.5% of those who enter the football academies at the age of nine will ever play for the first team.

Barry, 71, adds: ‘The biggest challenge is to get your first professional contract, no question. Clubs now take players from eight-years-old and that in my opinion is outrageous and should be stopped. 

‘13 or 14 should be the earliest any club can take a player and all clubs’ academies for under 13s should be closed down. Let kids be kids. It will help like you can’t believe. It’s football’s biggest problem.’

A damning statistic in author Michael Calvin’s 2017 book No Hunger in Paradise: The Players. The Journey. The Dream, shows of the 1.5 million players in organised youth football in England, around 180 – or 0.012% – will make it as a professional player at a Premier League club. 

That means most will have to find an alternative career despite many having dedicated their lives to the game.

Able Kpogho, 21, stars in Kicks as Patrick – a young footballer who is struggling after being dropped by his football team. 

The young player had a few unsuccessful trials at football academies, including Barnet, but despite this setback, remained determined to pursue his passion for the game. 

After receiving an offer to play football overseas on a scholarship in America, he declined it due to insufficient funding for tuition. He is now an actor, model and social media content creator, with more than 140,000 followers on TikTok.

‘Young footballers are under the pressure that you have to be in an academy by the age of 16 or else you’re not going to make it,’ Able tells Metro. 

‘Since many successful footballers are from the club’s academy and already in the system from a young age, it hints that you have to go down that route as well, but in reality, there are other options such as non-league when you’re older. 

‘One way is knowing that everyone makes mistakes and you too will make them. Your favourite footballers make errors daily but it’s about how you react and pick yourself up from the situation. 

‘No one is expecting you to have 100% pass completion or success rate in front of goal because that’s near impossible. We all fell in love with the sport because it’s fun so – as well as winning in some situations – that has to be your primary objective.’

Danny says that maintaining a healthy mindset helped him deal with the setbacks he had in football. 

‘Things I do to relieve stress when a game is approaching include making sure I prepare myself well so that I feel confident,’ he explains. ‘I also say good words of affirmation to contribute to me having a positive mindset when going into the game as this can help with the pressure and stress and in turn this helps my performance. 

‘I would say to view every setback as a lesson rather than failure and to keep a good routine in place to ensure structure which helps with feeling uneasy. 

‘My main support system was from my family rather than the clubs as it is my family who gets me through tough times.’

The Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) provides comprehensive support through various services, including advice and guidance, emphasising continued personal development beyond the pitch. 

It also offers financial support and guidance to help players plan for their future careers, whether through accredited academic or vocational courses.

Paul Raven, the Head of Personal Development at the PFA, tells Metro: ‘We understand the profound impact that being released from a football club can have on young individuals. 

‘It’s a time filled with emotional challenges. Beyond dealing a blow to a long-held dream of becoming a professional footballer, being released often has a far-reaching effect on a player’s personal identity. 

‘It coincides with the loss of structured routines and the close-knit social circles nurtured within the club environment. It’s also not uncommon for players to grapple with a feeling that they’ve let down the family and friends who’ve invested in their journey.

He adds: ‘The football community must take an active role in managing the expectations of young players and their families, especially within the club environment. It’s vital to instil a broader perspective, emphasising the significance of education, personal growth, and alternative career paths alongside their football aspirations.’

Able, who makes his debut as an actor in Kicks, says: “A lot of boys can relate to the story of my character Patrick, especially when only 1% actually make it to be footballers. I saw the essence in him somewhat in me.’

While Danny adds: ‘Working on this film has allowed me to reflect on my football journey, which is still ongoing.’ 

When talking about the impact of the film, Barry says it’s vital that the people get to see what life as a young footballer is really like. 

‘The public never sees that side of it,’ he explains. ‘Someone with all those dreams and hopes, walks in believing they’re about to get a new contract and the manager tells them ‘very sorry, but you’re being released’. It’s a major letdown.

‘If a player gets released and he hasn’t got another club to go to, they should stay in contact and make sure they’re okay.’

Alex Bushill, is Head of Media and PR at Mind and says the charity is proud to have advised on the film.

‘Kicks brings to life some of the key issues affecting the mental health of young footballers. We know the power football can have as a platform to raise awareness about mental health and to break down taboos that prevent people from talking about it. 

He adds: ‘From our own research, we also know that when mental health issues are depicted on screen it can help people, particularly young people, feel less alone and be more likely to talk to someone about how they are feeling.’

Kicks also stars Rebecca Middlemist as India and Femi Ogunjobi as Dad and was filmed with the support of Old Finchleians Club and Dexters Adventure Playground. You can watch a behind the scenes video here.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Kirsten.Robertson@metro.co.uk 

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A nurse who suffers from ‘sleeping beauty syndrome’ has revealed how the disorder has impacted her life, causing her to sleep through holidays, gigs, and even her own birthday party.

Bella Andreou has a rare condition where she sleeps for more than 20 hours a day and becomes a ‘zombie’ for the duration of the sleeping episodes.

The 24-year-old only received her official diagnosis of Kleine-Levin Syndrome (KLS) – also known as sleeping beauty syndrome or familial hibernation syndrome – in September this year, despite having countless episodes lasting weeks at a time from the age of 17.

The nurse, from Newcastle upon Tyne, claims to have lost nearly a year of her life to KLS, missing events like New Year’s Eve as she was fast asleep. She also suffered from a bout while supposed to be a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding.

Bella first experienced a sleeping episode in 2016 after getting drunk for the first time at an A Level results party, which sent her into a 10-day-long period of brain fog and slumber, which she initially thought was just a hangover.

Over the coming years, however, the same thing happened around every four weeks, with each stretch of fatigue lasting between seven and 10 days.

Bella, originally from Newcastle but now living in Devon, explained: ‘For a few months I was living with the fear that I was going mentally insane, thinking somebody was going to lock me up. I knew something was wrong with me – my parents described it as “the lights are on but nobody’s home”.

‘I’m a very independent person. I’m very bubbly and outgoing, but when an episode hits I become the complete opposite. I become very childlike. I talk like a baby and I’m needy.

‘I’m very dazed. I can’t function because it’s like I’m in a dream. It’s just a dream that you don’t really wake up from.

‘It’s anything but sleeping beauty, it’s more like a nightmare; you know when you have a nightmare where you fall off a cliff and then you can wake yourself up. Well for me that nightmare is constant for 10 days.’

When she initially went to her GP about the symptoms, Bella claims she was told it was ‘behavioural’ and that she was ‘just doing it for attention.’

‘My parents would have to argue and say, “This is not Bella.” Because that wasn’t me,’ she said.

‘I had never had any mental health issues before. And for them to just say it was behavioural was really hard because I wasn’t that sort of attention-seeking person.’

Doctors also thought Bella’s symptoms could be a reaction to the contraceptive pill, but months of scans and tests to rule out tumours, cancers and epilepsy led to an unofficial diagnosis of KLS by a neurologist in Newcastle.

Bella now knows her condition can be triggered by alcohol, stress, and her hormones, which she says is why her first episode occurred the morning of her first ever hangover.

Recalling this, she said: ‘My parents were away at the time but they then came home and saw me and thought I’d been spiked, just because of how severe the symptoms seemed.

‘I never got drunk again to the same degree as I did. I’d go out with my friends but I would always be the weird friend who couldn’t drink.

‘It was a very weird time because I lost a lot of friends. They didn’t understand it and they thought I was just being weird. It was a very scary chapter – the fear of the unknown.’

Bella says she was ill ‘all the time’ while sitting her A Levels, which she completed over three years, and claims KLS often disrupted her studies throughout her nursing degree at Northumbria University.

Yet by the time she first messaged her now-fiancé Meg Stone, 25, on Instagram early last year, she hadn’t had any sleeping episodes in two years.

The pair spent six months dating long-distance before Bella made the move from Newcastle to Devon to live with Meg’s family, but the stress of the move sparked a 10-day-long slumber last August – the first of three episodes that Meg witnessed first-hand.

Meg, an engineer from Barnstaple, Devon, says she will sometimes have to take time off work to become Bella’s full-time caregiver – waking her up periodically to give her water and snacks, such as oranges and crisps.

She said: ‘I just miss her when she’s in an episode. It’s a weird situation because I miss her yet she’s right there, but she’s just not.

‘She’s like a ghost. She doesn’t really know what’s going on. Her eyes are open but you can see straight through them.

‘As soon as she’s out of the episode she feels very guilty because she says I don’t deserve to be in a relationship where she’s ill. It makes me feel upset because I don’t ever want her to feel like that. I reassure her all the time that I don’t care if a plan has to be cancelled because I’d rather be with her and make sure she’s okay.’

Bella says she feels her and Meg are ‘robbed of time’ by KLS, but having her fiancé there to support her has brought the couple closer, and that they’re ‘best mates’ who ‘do everything together’.

As a result of the disorder – including the fact one of the only ways she can come out of an episode is through a night of insomnia – she has a number of worries around sleep.

‘I really struggle with bedtime and going to sleep because of the fear of whether I’m going to wake up tomorrow,’ said Bella.

‘Sleep for me is a huge issue. I’m only recently out of an episode so my anxiety is more heightened at the moment. I’m having to sleep with the light on.’

Meg reached a breaking point when looking after Bella in her latest bout of KLS three weeks ago, so posted a video to TikTok to help raise awareness and appeal for help.

She said: ‘It was almost a cry for help. I had taken her to A&E and they would just look at us as if we’re stupid – as if there’s nothing wrong with her. No one had a clue about KLS and it was ridiculous.

‘KLS can happen in an instant and all of a sudden your life just changes – which is what happened with Bella. It was just completely out of the blue.’

Bella added: ‘I just wish people would understand and not make jokes about me sleeping all day. I wish I did just sleep all day and that was it.

‘Especially because the lighter my episodes become – in regards to the sleeping aspect – the more of the other symptoms I get, like the childlike behaviour, the anxiety, the fog, the insomnia. These are the symptoms I hate.

‘I’d far rather have the deeper episodes because I’m asleep and I don’t know what’s going on.’

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